Saturday, April 30, 2005

Wanna know what Jay just said to me? He said, "You are so friggin adorable. It almost hurts your're so adorable." Well, it's not as good as being thought of as "a hot piece of ass," but it's not as bad as "such a nice girl (ugly implied.)" I'll take it. :-P

So, the last couple weeks have just been a bit nutty, due to Dianne being on vacation and us working extra hours, extra hard. I got through it relatively unscathed however, which I honestly wasn't expecting. I guess that's even more evidence that I'm feeling better than I was a month ago. If I had worked the last two weeks a month ago, I would have been seriously contemplating quitting my job and having myself surgically attached to my couch with a remote in one hand and a pint of Ben and Jerry's in the other. (And yes, surgical couch attachment does raise the issue of bathroom needs and feeding, but let's just say it doesn't for the sake of the point I'm trying to make.) I feel pretty good.

WARNING: Graphic photos below. Don't scroll all the way down if you can't handle a little blood!

One of the weirdest cases we've ever had at work was a rottweiler belonging to a great guy who is involved in Northeast Rottweiler Rescue. He does a lot of fostering for them and we see almost all the "fosters" before they are adopted out, just for general health checks. Anyway, he has three of his own and one of them - Sasha - came in on Tuesday with a big puncture wound to her chest. At first glance, it looked fairly superficial - just a flap of skin. Once we had her under anesthesia to stitch it up though, Dr. D explored the wound and could tell that where muscle was separated from skin, it was about nine inches deep and an inch and a half wide. Harry (the owner) had no idea initially how this might have happened. Well, when he came to get her later in the afternoon, he informed me that he gives the dogs "bully sticks," and that they play rough and he thinks Sasha got skewered when charging at one of the other dogs who had a bully stick in his mouth. So I of course asked, "What's a bully stick?" Do you want to know what it is? PetCo and other pet stores call them "bull muscle" to throw you off, but they're actually bull penises! How do you explain that injury to your friends when they ask? "She was stabbed with a bull penis by my other dog ?" My GAWD! Anyway, just thought it was an interesting case.

Before

After

Lately, I have been into capturing this spring digitally. Some photos for your perusal are below. If anyone wants the big copy for a desktop or something, feel free to ask.

That's all for now. Gonna go take a nap. Hope y'all are havin' a good weekend!

Posted @ 2:40 PM

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Cars hiss below me
A rumble in the distance
Rain smells like April

Well, I revised my haiku once I was informed of the rules. Lol. Boy was that a shot in the dark. Anyhoo, just stopping by really to take a break from spring cleaning. I have been bleaching everything in the condo, so I am wearing a skimpy tank top and shorts, so as not to destroy any of my nice clothes. Oh, who are we kidding? I don't own any truly nice clothes. Truly nice = uncomfortable for Erin. So I guess what I really mean is that I didn't want to get bleach marks on any of my good broken-in jeans. Lol. Anyway, since I am in a tank top, I am realizing that my upper body is totally changing from all the shit they've been making me do in PT. I dare say I have a pretty hot wrack (well, I always have), but it's looking better now that my posture is better and my shoulder blades are starting to be more noticeable (though not in the totally self-absorbed pic I am about to post!)

So yeah, anyway... Jay is always telling me I have great tits and I never believe him, but today I think he might be right. Lol. Are you laughing? Or cursing me for being an over-exposed, shameless bitch? Well, save those thoughts for the girls who are spreading eagle for free online -- though I say if that's what they wanna do, let 'em have at it! A little cleavage never killed anyone.

Hmmm...well, I have scoured the bathroom and kitchen already and am procrastinating about the living room, though it is by far the easiest room. It doesn't get downright grungy like the other two rooms do. It just gets messy. All I really have to do is pick up my desk, put CDs and DVDs back in their cases and vacuum. So why don't I do it? 'Cause I can't stop looking down at my tits. Ha ha ha! Just kidding. I am in one silly mood today!! Did you notice the necklace?

My sister brought it back for me from the New Zealand Incident. (See archive - 4/25/2004 - if you don't know what I'm talking about.) It's carved bone, made my the Aboriginal people there. Anyway, I really like it. I was never into swans, but this one is just really special to me, I guess because of the circumstances under which it came to me. *shrugs*

*sigh* Better get back to scrubbing. Jay is coming home tonight and I want it to look nice. :o) Hope everyone's having a great weekend.

Oh, P.S. This week actually went pretty well and I actually stayed after hours at work last night planting some pansies and alyssum around the flowering pear tree. :o) Felt so good to get dirty.

Posted @ 2:38 PM

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Springtime

Cars hiss by below
A rumble in the distance
The smell of storm comes

Yeah, it probably sucks for a haiku, but it's a beautiful night and I am in love with the rain.

I had a moment of perfect bliss today, driving down Route 125 with The Doors blaring and warm wind billowing in all four open windows. In that moment, I felt like myself, 100%, for the first time in a long time.

I'm going to go lie in bed and listen to the rain and try to forget that Lost is another friggin re-run tonight. *grumble grumble grumble*

Posted @ 8:16 PM

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Oh me, oh my...where to begin? Well, I just put Jay on a plane to Arizona for a week, for some HVAC Seminar thingy. I was kind of excited to have a week all to myself, but the reality of being alone during what is inevitably going to be a hard week is now hitting me...

One of my coworkers is on vacation in Germany, so we are all working serious overtime next week to pick up the slack - open to close most days, which is 7:30am to at least 6:00pm, if not later. This is also the "busy season" in the veterinary field, because the fleas and ticks are out and everyone comes pouring in to stock up on products and usually ends up making appointments for this or that, so we are absolutely slammed. Two weeks of doing that five days a week, not to mention my 50-minute commute each way at $2.11 a gallon, PT twice a week... Ugh. I will be lucky to escape next week alive.

I also went to see The Medicine Man - my new term for the guy I am seeing to help me with my brain issues, because he isn't really a doctor - he's an "APRN, BC" - but I don't feel right calling him just Al, so he's The Medicine Man...but not to his face, of course. Anyway, I officially took the A.D.D. test and passed both parts with flying colors. What do I mean by "both parts," you ask? Well, the A.D.H.D. section as well, of course! I found myself laughing, because so many of the questions were totally me - things I have done since I was a kid. (Again, I found myself getting pissed that this wasn't addressed sooner. I feel like I wasted a lot of time.) So, Med Man gave me yet another prescription which I promptly took down to Rite Aid for filling, only to be told that a) there is no generic available (though Med Man said there was) and my insurance only covers generic and 2) my insurance won't cover it for anyone over the age of 19 anyway, without some fucking prior authorization. Translation = more fucking hoops to jump through. So I don't know what will become of that issue. Sure would be nice to be able to come down to earth and concentrate on things I need to. That's the trouble with me - if it's something I want to do, I'm usually OK. But if it's something I am not particularly motivated to do or interested in, it is nearly impossible to get myself to do it. Yes, I know many people probably think this is just laziness, but it's not. I try to buckle down and concentrate and before I know it, my mind is racing about all kinds of unrelated things as I bounce my knee up and down like a friggin maniac - I can't sit still. *sigh* I talked to Erin for a little while today about being kind of bummed out about this new diagnosis, which truly is the least of the issues, but somehow getting another label stuck on me is disheartening. And it also made me wonder if the whole time I was thinking I was special because I didn't think like everyone else - I somehow considered myself more evolved - it was actually just friggin A.D.H.D. and they are actually the fully-functioning ones. Lol. *sigh* Erin talked me out of that one pretty quick, but it's still one of the many things that have been crossing my mind lately. Anyway...

So I am sleeping a little better but the meds are making me a bit fluffy, which I think I've mentioned. I am also exhausted a lot of the time. I think now that my brain is slowing down a little bit, the fact that I haven't gotten a truly good night's sleep more than a couple times in the last...well, very long time, put it that way...is catching up with me. I know it'll be good in the long run, the adjustment period just sucks ass. Oh, did I mention I am in the 6-8% (or something like that) that is experiencing the dreaded side effect? Figures - when I am depressed, I don't want to have sex and now that I do want to, I can't get off. Argh. Just heap that on top of the pile of frustrating shit right now! (And I don't care if that's too much info - don't read it if you don't want to hear it!)

Hmmm...what else? Well, my coverage for PT will be running out soon, so I am kind of stressing out about that because I have to keep going, so I can settle it and get some money back ultimately. Paying out of pocket is going to be tough though... Anyone feeling philanthropic? Seriously... I have a PalPal account. If any good doers are looking for a rescue mission, I'm your girl...

My brakes are screwed up and I think I will be having to put in new rotors soon - more $$$.

I dropped out of the Round Robin with some other Moonies because I can't slow down enough to write, which is odd, because I have been blogging for a good 45 minutes now. This is mindless babble though - I am not trying to be creative or stick to a form. This is easy. That is hard. That, I can't make my brain do right now, especially with everything else going on. I feel bad about it, but right now I desperately need slack time, I need to not fill every hour of my days with obligation. *sigh*

Rereading this post, I feel like I come across as so pitifully weak. But the truth is, I am stronger than I give myself credit for and right here, right now, this is just a mental defragmentation and I will be up and running efficiently very soon.

Thanks for reading.

Posted @ 6:10 PM

Monday, April 11, 2005

I don't have too much to say, but I just sent Erin an email with a couple of paragraphs I thought were funny, so I think I'll share those in lieu of a "real" post.

She's probably most likely going to be published and this is my response to that: "I am psyched about your chapbook deal then, now that it sounds legit. I just remember all those "poetry contest - win $25K!" little black and white ads in the back of every magazine I read as a young adult, and being told I was accepted for publication in one but they wanted a registration fee or something (being 10 or 12 or whatever, of course I had no money, anyway) and it was actually some anthology with a name so obscure I could never find it anywhere. So I worry. I worry like I would if I had a beautiful aspiring model friend who met a photographer who promised to take beautiful portfolio pics -- oh, and that will be $1000 please -- and before she knows it, she's penetrating herself with vegetables on film. OK, so maybe it's a stretch, but I worry. Lol."

And regarding the friggin laundry room etiquette: "And I just lugged probably 40 lbs. of laundry down three flights of stairs and all the washers are being used. Argh!!! I set my alarm for 7 minutes after they're due to be done and if the jackass tenant (as most of them are, and in all likelihood, this one is as well) has not yet removed his/her clothes by then, I will be doing it for him/her. Not to sound catty, but that is a huge pet peeve of mine. The theme for laundry is not the Ronco motto -- "Set it...and forget it!" People wait in line, you know! I can't tell you how many times I have gone down there and waited and waited and waited for someone who was busy watching TV or fell asleep or lost track of time. When I do laundry, I set a timer so I know when it's done. Maybe I'm just anal retentive, but of all my pet peeves, people who can't comprehend that the world - AND the laundry room - do NOT revolve around them drive me CRAZY. Oooh, that rant felt good. Like takin' a big old shit. Relief."

Well, at least one other tenant in this building is considerate. I guess that'll teach me not to be such a misanthropic cynic. Who am I kidding? No, it won't. People suck.

(Why don't I hear anyone applauding my tremendous wit and irony?)

Oh, P.S. The Bars were fucking awesome. I missed them so much. Can't wait to do it again. Finally got my shirts! Might have to model for ya later! :-P

Posted @ 4:31 PM

Saturday, April 09, 2005

So I bought this rawhide for Indie, thinking it would go over like a giant icecream sundae to a kid. Not so. I gave it to her and it made her head tilt to one side with the weight, so she dropped it on the floor (loud thud), circled it for a minute and tried to bite one end - jaw couldn't fit. Then tried to bite the other end - jaw couldn't fit. Since Indie - with regular-size rawhide bones - habitually eats one knot, then the middle, then the other knot, she doesn't know how to go about eating this thing. She stared at it and then me, it and then me and then started pacing and whining. So my giant icecream sundae made my kid cry. I felt bad. But damn, it was funny.

I am feeling pretty good the last week. The increased dose of Celexa (upped after the first week) has me a bit spaced out, but it's a fair trade for feeling more lighthearted again and it should go away with time, anyway. The other stuff, on the other hand, is hit or miss it seems, with regard to sleeping. Some nights, like last night, Jay stayed out 'til 1AM with friends and I didn't wake up when he came home and Indie bounced off the wall to greet him, although a cat even walking past me usually wakes me up. Other nights, it's like I didn't take anything at all and I toss and turn and wake up every hour on the hour. Damn my brain! I know it'll balance at some point soon, it just wish it was faster.

We're going out to see The Bars tonight and a couple of my coworkers and their husbands are coming too. I am so friggin psyched! I haven't seen the band since last summer. It's such a good time. My only concern is that I won't be able to thrash around like I usually like to for fear of undoing all the hard work I've done with my back, but headbanging or no, it'll still be a rip-roarin' good time. Always is. :o)

Hope everyone's having a good weekend, whatever you're up to.

Posted @ 11:15 AM

Saturday, April 02, 2005

It doesn't feel like it's been 3 days since I blogged. Weird.

I had something sort of Seinfeld-esque that I wanted to share (meaning that it is of no consequence, but funny) and I have completely forgotten what it was (I'm not even gonna say A-D-........)

Only been on the meds since Wednesday, but I feel better. Even if it's a placebo effect, I am OK with that. Any kind of relief - short of my developing alcoholism or other self-destructive vices - is quite welcome.

I think I'm gonna go watch something mindless on TV. I have been online for a while now and my ass is starting to feel flat.

Hope everyone's having a great evening!

Posted @ 9:35 PM