Friday, July 28, 2006

I have a fantastic chick trick to share with y'all this morning! I don't know about anyone else, but if I go to bed after crying, I wake up with my eyes so puffy I can barely see. Well, that's no good for work, so this morning I got up early, rubbed in some Preparation H on the puffy parts and laid on the couch with a bandana soaked in freezing water over my eyes. Miraculous! I don't look quite normal, but I no longer appear like someone punched me in both eyes. Yay! (Take pleasure in the small things, right?)


Posted @ 6:35 AM

Sunday, July 23, 2006

This layout is in honor of youth, summer and freedom of the spirit. I know one would probably not get that from a Natural Born Killers theme, but trust me. Here's to the summer of 1995.

Posted @ 8:45 PM

Friday, July 21, 2006

I am turning into one of those women who has dark circles under her eyes even if I get a halfway decent night's sleep. Let's forget for a moment that a decent night's sleep for me is only taking an hour or two to fall asleep and waking up four times instead of ten. I have always had trouble sleeping, since I was a little girl. Even so, I have never looked like the living dead. Lately -- the last month or so -- I feel like I look sick. Ok, so I have been sick the last week, but that's no excuse for the past month. So boo hoo hoo... I know, I should be thankful that I'm not blind and am able to see the blue bags and at least I have a bed to lie awake and stare at the ceiling in and at least I have a computer and electricity to facilitate my bitching about it... I know. But what good is a blog if I can't be totally self-absorbed? That's what this is, right? MySpace? I'm afraid I am going to look like Uncle Fester soon. Ack, this is awful. When did I start to give a shit about this stuff? I can't believe how bloodshot my eyes are.  The red spot on the side of my nose is from my glasses.

See, even Fester's shocked!

Anyway, today was long and sad at work.  Barb's been on vacation, so we're all busting our asses and putting in overtime anyway, but we've also had a lot of critical (some downright tragic) cases this week. Sometimes I think I ask too much of myself to expect to just come home and forget about what I saw and did all day. I feel like I should be strong enough to just not dwell on it. It kind of builds up in a person like if you don't change your oil in a timely manner. Gums up the works, compromises performance. They call it compassion fatigue (granted, not on the same scale as those who got us through 911 or Katrina, but compassion fatigue nonetheless) and I guess I just need to work on managing it. *sigh*

Today has been sad for other reasons, but I don't feel like getting into it.

I have an appointment to get my hair cut and colored tomorrow and am really looking forward to that. (My stylist is also a client of ours and her goofy shar pei, Henry, who we call a "chocolate manatee" needs meds, so I will be delivering them too. Just another example about how personally I do my job.)

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I'm going to go paint my toenails.

Posted @ 9:23 PM

Monday, July 17, 2006

A lesson about perception:

Since last week, I have been secretly cursing everyone who speaks to me for mumbling. So aside from being dizzy, overtired and nauseous, I had to make everyone repeat themselves because they're a bunch of mumbly non-annunciators. Right? Right.

Well, I went to the doc today because my balance is still off and I promised my mom I would. The doc asked me if I'd been having any hearing difficulties, to which I repeated the above and lo and behold... I am suffering from bilateral otitis media -- aka both inner ears are full of fluid and infected. Who'da thunk it -- that it's actually my problem, not everyone else's. Lol. I just think that's funny. God forbid I should consider that maybe I had an issue, not every single person who has uttered a word to me over the last week. *sigh*

Got my antibiotics and am looking forward to getting off the invisible boat I've been on for the last week. Yippeeeeee!

Posted @ 7:32 PM

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Well, I'm finally feeling not-like-ass enough to post something. Yay! Here's the chronology:


The friggin huge stretch limo arrived at work to take us to the airport. This luxury was mostly courtesy of Bayer Animal Health, who foot the bill for the whole trip. (D had to kick in a little extra, 'cause they only wanted to pay for a regular car and D's well, a bit ostentatious.)

The flight was uneventful. Got to Philly around 8:30, I would estimate. Bayer sent a bus for us and another group that was on the same flight and we had Mr. Toad's Wild Ride through Philly. The driver's name was Chick and I don't know if he couldn't see the lines on the road or just considered himself above them, but let's just say I should have brought Dramamine.

We got to the Hyatt a few minutes before the welcome reception dinner ended, so we checked into our rooms and went down to Zanzibar Blue, a jazz bar in same building (The Bellevue.) Ate some friggin amazing food, listened to jazz and had a few drinks. We ran around and checked out the hotel afterwards and were back in our rooms by midnight.


We had an unfrigginbelievable breakfast served in the Conservatory, which is like an indoor courtyard, complete with fountain. After we ate, we headed off to The Grand Ballroom where we had our first class or seminar or whatever you wanna call it. Had a coffee break, went back into another seminar and then had lunch -- again, fucking awesome food. After lunch we had more classes, a break and then went up to our rooms to get ready for din din.

At 5:45, we piled into two huge buses to go to Moshulu, which is a restaurant and lounge on a permanently docked HUGE fucking ship. We ate hors d'euvers and seafood and consumed liberal amounts of alcohol. Around 8:30, they made an announcement that anyone who didn't feel like they were having enough fun could catch the first bus back to the hotel and to my surprise, about 2/3 of the room cleared out. The rest of us stayed until last call and ripped the place up. Not only did we get D drinking and dancing, he sang Honky Tonk Women with the live blues/funk band!! That was something I would pay to see again.

The second bus came around 11 (maybe?) and took us back to the hotel. No one was ready for bed, so we went to XIX, which is the Hyatt's official lounge/bar. Had a few more drinks and a lot more fun and eventually went up to our rooms at like 1:30. D and Sarah and I had a long, slightly slurred discussion about work and ended up getting raises out of it. Then she and I stayed up until about 3am talking about the talk we'd just had. Thankfully, we were all still on the same page once we sobered up...


After having had about 6 accumulative hours of sleep over the previous 36 hours, a good amount of alcohol and the queasiness I mentioned last post, I was a wreck Thursday AM. Still, had breakfast and went to my first seminar, did the lunch thing, more class and finally it was time to get our shit together and head back to the airport. Bus came at 4:15 to get us to the airport for a 6:05 flight. I forgot to mention that I talked the concierge into checking us in online the night before, 'cause we weren't going to be there to do it, so we were the only ones in boarding group A for the flight back to NH...*snicker snicker* So we arrived in a timely manner, stood in line for 45 minutes to get through security and then sat at the gate...

...and sat, and sat, and sat. Our flight was delayed a couple times and they finally had us on the plane by like 8pm, but we had to sit on the runway for another hour and a half because there was a back up. This was pure misery, I tell you! The A/C wasn't working and it was a full flight, so we were packed in like sardines, amid people coughing in contagious-sounding ways and babies screaming bloody murder. It's a small wonder that I didn't need to use the barf bag. Anyway...

We finally got into Manchester at 10-ish and were back in Barrington by almost 11. I came home, had a bizarrely sleepless night (does that make ANY sense at all?!?) and dragged my sorry ass to work in the morning.

Yesterday, I slept almost all day. My equilibrium seems to be almost back to normal and my belly feels better. What a long, strange trip it's been!!

Posted @ 8:39 PM

Friday, July 14, 2006

I'm back. Learned a lot, had fun and feel like I got hit by a truck. Something about the Philly air maybe? I was instantly congested upon arrival and the pressure in my ears never returned to normal after the plane, so my equilibrium was off for the last three days. I constantly felt like I was on a boat that was slightly pitching. Unfortunately, a slightly pitching boat is also my worst nightmare if I want to get motion sickness. Put me on a roller coaster, I'm fine. Hit me with constant inability to stop moving and I puke. So I have been sick to my stomach for three days too... Ugh. I was feeling better this AM until I stood up. We shall see what happens throughout the day.

Anyhoo, I'll spill the details later. Just wanted to let anyone who actually reads this know I'm not dead. (Though I kinda feel like it...)

Posted @ 6:15 AM

Monday, July 10, 2006

Well, the puppy tails story ended with me stringing D along by not returning his email all weekend and when he walked in this AM and asked me, "So, did you get arrested?" I managed to keep a straight face and said, "No, but it was awfully inconvenient and embarassing." Then I told him the details of the incident (invented incident, I should say) and when I was sure be believed my story, I said, "You know, there's one good thing that came out of it. The full body cavity search was awesome!" He just shook his head and walked away.

Anyhoo, I leave for Philly tomorrow afternoon and I probably won't get a chance to be online again for a few days. Hope everyone has a great week. Kisses all around.

Posted @ 8:36 PM

Friday, July 07, 2006

I hope Angie will be able to back me up when I say that for one to survive working in vet med, it is necessary to either already possess or build up a completely warped sense of humor. This sense of humor must be so warped that even our closest friends and family members sometimes don't get it or are repulsed, but for us it is second nature: a coping mechanism. That being said...

We had a particularly emotional and intense day at work. It wound down with an appointment to dock the tails on a litter of newborn cocker spaniel puppies. Well, when I got home, there was a frantic message from Jenn asking if I had checked my rearview mirror because D had strung up the tails and hung them there!!!

If I lived alone, I probably would have been able to see the humor, but having to try to explain it to Jay was another story, so I started plotting my revenge for the trouble. This is what I came up with:


I'm emailing because, to be blunt, I am too fucking pissed to speak to you right now. I probably would have seen the humor in the puppy tails if a Hannaford shopper hadn't noticed them first while I was in the store. I came out to find a police car -- blue lights on and everything -- waiting for me. Try explaining that one! Just what I needed at the end of the day!!! Thank you so very, very much. I know we all agree that vet med requires a twisted sense of humor, but this was WAY too far.

I don't even know what else to say about this. I hope you do.

~ Erin

I also called Sarah and emailed Dianne with the same story, because they were in on it. Wha'da'ya think? Nothing I could put in their cars would phase any of them, so I thought a psychological comeback was probably a good bet...

Bunch of sickos, we are. T.G.I.F.

Posted @ 8:28 PM

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"

"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

Posted @ 8:14 PM

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July, Happy Birthday to Erin and a Very Merry Unbirthday to everyone else.

Posted @ 11:23 AM

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Something really friggin funny just happened to me. I called to activate my shiny new Sears card so I can get 0% financing until August 2007 on a new stackable washer and dryer. Well, the girl who took my information had a very thick Latino accent (is "Latino" the politically correct term?) and when she was confirming my address, she said, "I see you live in Row-chester, Northern Hemisphere?" I almost peed in my pants having to tell her, "Um, that'd be New Hampshire." I am still laughing to myself. Dayum!!!

Posted @ 9:38 PM

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