Wednesday, March 30, 2005

OK, well, this shouldn't be a friggin surprise to me - and in fact, is one of the most painfully obvious things ever, in retrospect - but the doc thinks I am not only depressed, not only having anxiety issues, but also have A.D.-fucking-D., which amplifies the other two. Makes sense. My brain never stops (hence the not sleeping, which causes fatigue which drops endurance in every respect), my head is always spinning, I never understand why people don't "get" me, even as I jump from one thing to the next in a way that feels natural only to me. I haven't taken the official A.D.D. test yet, but the doc says he suspects I will pass "with flying colors," meaning I'm not just a little symptomatic of A.D.D. Ugh. Another label. Yay. But I am glad to be getting somewhere. I am also starting to feel a little angry that no one caught this sooner. I never slept as a kid, I was a space shot in school, but obviously far from stupid... I am kind of annoyed that this went undressed for so long - maybe there was no reason for me to be a grade school insomniac. Anyhoo...

So it's absolutely fucking beautiful outside and I think it's a good day to do some henna. Nothing quite like packing your hair full of what looks like steamy diarrhea and donning the heat cap! I am quite a looker when I do it, lemme tell ya! I will post a pic or two if I think of it. :o)

Hyperactively Yours,

Posted @ 11:55 AM

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Just got back from PT not too long ago. Had Cheerios (sans bananas) for din-din, got online only to find no Erin, obsessively checked my email every minute or two while tinkering slightly with my blog layout (notice the line of dots at the end now? That took a lot of thought!) and now I am thinking it's time to go poop out for the night. But first, must blog!

Today was nuts at work and my body believes it's Friday. Boy is it in for a rude surprise when I have to drag it back to work on Thursday! I do have my appointment tomorrow, so I am kind of psyched about that, not only for the prospect of feeling happier soon, but because I am hoping he'll give me something to help me sleep. I generally sedate myself adequately with either generic Benadryl (diphenhydramine HCl - the same damn thing in Sominex or Nytol, for like 1/5th the cost!) or this other stuff I found over the counter, the name of which I can't remember. I rotate because I develop a tolerance of one after a while, so I have to switch. Anyway, that renders me sufficiently sleepy and I do fall asleep, but I still wake up probably 5 or 6 times a night on average. Some nights less, some nights more. And this is "normal" for me, even when I am looped on OTC sleep aides. My body might feel like lead, but my brain never stops. I am anxious and wound up all friggin night long. Jay says I have to concentrate on controlling my thoughts, which I do during the day, but he fails to understand that when I'm unconscious, my mind is back to its old tricks and I am at its mercy. *sigh* Anyway... So I am hoping he'll give me something that will shut off my brain so I can get some sleep. I am quite sure that my fatigue is only making everything else seem worse...

'Nother poem. This one is one of the "top ranked" on MTC. Erin says stars don't mean shit, but it's still kind of flattering. :o)

Manchester Moon

The night is seared
where city meets sky.
Industrial lights
incessantly display
proof of fiscal success,
discoloring midnight
with aberrant orange edges.

The moon hangs in solitude
out of obligation, not desire.
Exposed, like a stripper
whose heart is somewhere else,
she displays herself
for the masses to ogle.

Even the ground, scarred by
the fruits of so-called advancement,
aches underneath miles of
edifice and asphalt -
unable to take a breath
of sweet evening air.

I feel the submissive woe of this soil.
My empathy extends
to each ancient stone,
each bird whose nest is in jeopardy,
each cloud whose path carries it
over this dirty hamlet.

Like them, there is no longer
room for me here.
I belong to the night,
to the sanctuaries still untouched
by progress.

I close my eyes and try
to wish myself away.

Posted @ 9:04 PM

Monday, March 28, 2005

Today was rough at work. I am finally starting to lose the tight controls I usually have over my outward appearance - meaning people are starting to notice when I am getting anxious. Pisses me off to no end. I have been more or less OK for so friggin long, that to admit there's a problem again (or still - maybe I was in denial?) is really disheartening. It's not like I still buy into the stigma about "mental illness" - that dirty term! - because with my family history and my own experience in the past w/mild depression and anxiety, it's damn near impossible to cling to it and make any kind of healthy progress. And it's not like I am not well aware that "normal" people can have mental issues just like "normal" people can be diabetic or have heart issues. Shit happens. But nonetheless, I have been in complete denial that my mental state has been darkening and I've slowly been beating myself to a pulp by not allowing myself the slack most people who aren't feeling "up to snuff" do. I have not missed a single day of work, not slacked at home, not cut back on my responsibilities at all. I feel like my stubborn determination to remain "normal" is making things worse - I'm trying to force effort out of myself that I don't have energy to match right now. When I am home, all I want to do is sleep, but I don't. I push on, because I am a stubborn ass and that's what I do. So, why am I ranting and raving about this here? Well, for one, it's my blog and I can! Two, it helps me be OK with it, to make sense of it by seeing it on the screen and out of my head. Three, I made an appointment to see someone on Wednesday. *sigh* Phhhhhhhhhhh. I kept telling myself it's just stress, it's just winter, it's just this or that and before I knew it, it had been like 6 months since I felt good. I have to keep reminding myself now that there's no reason to keep on feeling like shit - I am doing the right thing.

I almost don't want to write about this in here, because although I am past the stigma, not everyone is and I don't want to be pigeon-holed by less open-minded individuals who might be reading this. Oh well. It's a risk you take, exposing yourself to cyberspace I guess. I am not ashamed of myself or my sister (who's infinitely worse off than I am) or my brother or mom. We all have beautiful minds.

The only other thing I have to say, on a lighter note, is that I am hopelessly addicted to Orbit Bubblemint gum. I think they put heroin in it. As soon as my first piece starts to lose flavor, I have to have another one and suck the juices out of it post haste...and the cycle continues. I went through a whole pack today. Oh well. Another dirty mouth clean, right?

Posted @ 8:07 PM

Sunday, March 27, 2005

I was going to say "Happy Easter," but I am really quite agnostic (or just not very Christian), so I thought I'd repost from an entry a couple years ago. Please enjoy a moment of pagan enlightenment, courtesy of our sponsors!

The Vernal Equinox
(Page 53 Life Magic: The Power of Positive Witchcraft by Sarah Bowes)

"The vernal, or youthful, equinox falls on March 21, the first day of Aries and spring. The sun has reached the equator, so the hours of day and nite are equal around the world. This festival is also known as Eostre, in honor of the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring. Eostre was ceremonially invoked on this day, and it is from her name that the word "Easter" is derived. "East" - the direction of the first light and warmth of the dawning sun - is also derived from the name of the Goddess of Spring. Many witches choose to place their alters facing east in honor of Eostre.

The Christian Church transformed this festival into a time to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. During church services, the priest turns to face the east as an expression of belief in Christ and as the harbinger to light itself. Church altars are placed in the east to signify the birth and resurrection of Christ, and Christians tend to be buried with their feet pointing eastward in the hope that their souls will be resurrected. The date for Easter Sunday is guided by the moon. It falls on the first Sunday after the Paschal moon - the full moon that occurs either on the equinox or on any of the following 28 days..."

Have a great day, whatever you're celebrating.

Posted @ 1:05 PM

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Good morning! And yes, it is. Although I have no thermometer, I would say it's probably at least 50 degrees out and bee-yootee-ful! I am debating whether or not to turn off the heat and open the windows. I did last weekend, but then forgot to turn it back on and we froze our asses off a couple of nights before it dawned on me why. Lol. For a fairly intelligent person, I can be quite a flake. I like to think it's just that I have no mind for details, because I am busy thinking about bigger, more important things. Anyway, moving on...

I have been somewhat fixated lately on the issue of my lost poetry and how I should go about getting it back. I used to think in poems. I could be driving down the road and see a bird on the yellow line and start writing a poem in my head. Often, I would pull over and scribble madly on whatever I could find, and I still have those napkins and wrappers in my big box o' writing.

I also always thought I wasn't the type of person to keep a journal, a theory which was contradicted completely by my discovery of blogging. I started to wonder if my blogging was the precursor to the disappearance of my poetry - like this totally inorganic, speedy substitute came in and diverted my words so there was nothing left for paper, which was partially true. Then I realized that my poetry was my journal before my blog was my journal. Every poem I ever wrote - more or less - was a therapeutic purge of some emotion or experience or woe. Though definitely abstract, my writing is a chronological log of most significant happenings in my life since my age was in single digits. Though a stranger might read it and see nothing more than pretty semantic arrangements, I see encrypted memories.

So where I am at now is trying to divide my output between these mediums. Not sure how to go about it, really. I just know I have to. It is too easy to let my creativity get lazy because I can type fast and hit "publish post." I have to get back to the days of sitting on the side of the road, just letting it come when it will. Those were my purest thoughts.

Anyway, just wanted to share. Here's a poem I wrote recently. I actually got out of bed in the middle of the night and wrote it on paper, just like the good old days. There was really no stopping it. That is what I want back.

My Humble Reclamation

My words, like wild animals, fled,
pursued by buildings
and deadlines and commuters
and commerce,

retreated to the few sanctuaries
left in the world,
to go unnoticed and unremembered
in the monotonous scheme of “things.”

They crept by night,
active only under the cover of dreams
and black skies,
from the calamities that pepper
sunny hours.

Now my words are stirring,
becoming antsy, impatient,
to reclaim what was once theirs.

They urge me, in whispers,
to remember my mother.
My mother who said:

Hold very still, don't make a sound.
Sit quietly and wait for them
to come to you.

And they will.

Posted @ 11:14 AM

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Two inches of snow and still coming down. I won't even bother to make any derogatory comments about New England 'cause although I am quite sick of the snow, they'd be lies (I LOVE NEW HAMPSHIRE - RAH RAH RAH!) and then E might put a down payment down on some warm, Carolina manor for me, and I don't want to take her money. :-P

Ah, thoughts before coffee. Brilliant!

Posted @ 5:35 AM

Monday, March 21, 2005

HAPPY SPRING! I was going to make up some cutesy flowery thing to post yesterday but never got around to it. It was an absolutely beautiful first day of spring. We hit 51 degrees in ManchVegas, which is a heat wave for us this time of year. Half the snow melted in the front yard, though the parts shadowed by the huge pine trees will most likely be sporting snow until the middle of May! The birds were out and talking about their winter, the breeze was blowing softly, the sun was shining, the harleys were purring by... I talked to Erin and some others via MTC chat for awhile yesterday, with the slider open and sunshine streaming into the condo. It felt so damn good. *sigh* It was a great day.

Today I have PT @ 2:30, have to get groceries and do a shitload of laundry. Also need to make a few more appointments - ychk! (That is the best way I can think to spell the sound that is half throat-clearing/half phlegmy disapproval.) I am tired of always having to be somewhere. I know it's all for a good cause though...

Oh, can't forget to show you this. I know it's crazy cat lady stuff, but I think it's cute. And hey, I probably will be a crazy cat lady, so I might as well practice!! :-P

Happy Monday everyone!

Posted @ 8:39 AM

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Well, my Clinique purchase, which was supposed to be a pick-me-up, has proven to be a mixed blessing. While I am happy to have some new lotions and potions, I decided to take a few extreme close-ups of my skin (thank you, Olympus) so I can have a basis for comparison to see if indeed Clinique is as amazing as people say. Well, I discovered that my skin looks like shit close up. :o( Oh well. I guess no one's looking at me with a magnifying glass... I am kind of disappointed in myself for allowing myself to be been bitten by the anti-aging bug. I know I've been whining about it too much, it's just never hit me this hard before that I am not getting any younger. Do I still look OK for almost 27? Please...placate my fragile ego!


Well, I just spent most of the day cleaning. I went to WalMart this morning and bought an assortment of organizational items and I must say, so far so good. I'm sick of it though, so I am taking the rest of the afternoon off. I have tomorrow and Monday off, so there's plenty of time NOT to have fun. For now, I think I'll go watch Annie - the real one, not that horrid knock-off Disney did a few years back. Got it on sale at Wally World. :o) (Yeah, I realize it's probably appealing to me because it will most likely remind me of being 10 years old. This is my neurosis and I'm gonna indulge it!)

Posted @ 3:49 PM

Friday, March 18, 2005

Well, Crystal just had to bring up the subject of house hunting and I am compelled to respond. One of our clients at work is moving to AZ and just put her little house up for sale. She lives in Barrington and from what I heard, it is a cute little mobile home on its own land, not too far from work. (BTW, for anyone who hears the term "mobile home" and gets all high and mighty and feeling classy and superior, try finding a home anywhere in NH right now for $125K or less and tell me how your criteria changes...) So I called the realtor only to find out that the property is being sold for $89,900 because...the mobile is old and decrepit and has to be demo'd so they are pushing it more as a very expensive 1/2 acre of land. Simply wonderful. Of course, having been shot down umpteen times, I didn't really have my hopes up, but I was still a little disappointed. Anyway, the realtor was cool and says I'm not crazy for looking what I am looking for and that those properties do exist, you just need help finding them. She'll be the 4th realtor who has offered to help and might be the first to come through. Most of them quit answering questions when they realize they're not going to make jack shit off me. As much as I want to believe they sincerely get joy from helping people get into their first home, I know joy really means X%, so we shall see what happens. I have a strangely good (maybe delusional?) feeling about this summer...

Um...what else? Perhaps a random train of thoughts will suffice here, as I don't have the energy or discipline to form well-thought-out paragraphs at the moment. Last few days at work have been fun, which is good, 'cause everybody being cranky asses just plain sucks...I have a lot poetry racing through my head like the kind of intense dream that you can't remember for the life of you once you wake up - I just have to figure out how to get it on paper...I have decided to hit Staples or some place like it and invest in some organizational devices/gadgets/bins/etc. because I have concluded that the piles of crap that "doesn't go anywhere in particular" are what makes this place unlivable...Spring officially starts Sunday and I am psyched about that...Norton has just detected a virus on my computer (thus far unidentified, as it is still scanning)

I guess I'm gone. I am all distracted about this damned virus now. Catch y'all later.

Posted @ 7:57 PM

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Figures. I've had like two or three days of mad introspection and when I finally sit down at my computer, I can't think of a damn thing to say. Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle if I can't purge something!! I guess you could say I have been undergoing a pretty intense self-evaluation lately. Sometimes I get so caught up in the day-to-day monotony that I lose track of myself. That seems to be going around lately, I might add - like a friggin personality virus. Sorry, I can't come to work today. I have a nasty case of self-awareness. Anyway, I am just feeling kind of old and lame and bored and boring. I simultaneously love and am mad at MTC for somehow making me look in. Lol - or maybe I'm just looking for some(one/thing) else to blame, like any good addict, and MTC is an easy target! I am addicted to structure and routine and things that make me feel secure. I find comfort in knowing what to expect, paying my bills ahead of time and that sort of crap. Yet I am finding myself desperately missing the days before all that seemed important - the days before I felt like I needed to be so damned prepared. The days when Anna and I would get up at three in the morning to go to the beach to see the sun rise, or drive down to Cambridge and sit outside The Garment District for hours before it opened, somehow fearing that the really good secondhand clothes (isn't that an oxymoron?) were in jeopardy unless we got there first. The days when I wasn't afraid of what might happen if... If anything. When did I change?

Lately I am wondering what became of people I used to know. And E1, if you are reading this, someone in particular was indeed the impetus behind this new curiosity, but by far the sole subject. Some people I would never want to talk to again - and in fact, some people were major players on the team that more or less took down my idyllic faith in mankind. Others I can't help wondering about. Where are they now? What would have happened if we had been in each others' lives all along? What if we met again? Did I end up with the best possible selection of people in my life? Am I missing anyone? These are all menacing questions for someone who thought she had it all squared away, thought everything was where it should be...

Posted @ 9:14 PM

Sunday, March 13, 2005

I'm bored. I hate being bored. I got groceries this morning, then made crock pot meatballs and spaghetti sauce for dinner tonight. Then I took a nap. Then Jay called and woke me up to get the product key off his Windows XP CD because he's doing some software upgrade at his friend Lens's house. That took like ten minutes 'cause he was on a cellphone with a bad connection and I had to repeat the 25-character key way more times than I would have liked. Then I painted my nails "Golden Cinnabar." Then I started the dishwasher. Now I am half watching some crap on VH1 and half blogging. Ugh. I hate being bored.

My mom is still in rehab after her surgery (it's been almost two weeks), which I have probably already mentioned/whined about a bazillion times and she says the food sucks, so last night I called Dominos and had them bring her a pizza. I called her later and found out she didn't eat it because her stomach is so upset from the pain meds. If my mother feels bad enough not to eat a pizza... She's really really bad. Makes me very sad. :o(

I think my sinuses are starting to get fucked up again. When I stand up from being horizontal, they burn like a motherfucker. I am also kind of fuzzy today, as far as balance and energy goes. Sure sign somethin' ain't right. Yay. Gotta love that.

Did I mention I hate being bored?

I should go edit some poetry, but I have no motivation at all right now. I think I will go back to the couch. Hope everyone's having a lovely Sunday.

Addendum: I just ordered $62.00 worth of skin potions from Clinique as a pick-me-up. Why is it that spending money is often the best blah cure (next to junk food, that is!)??

Posted @ 5:02 PM

Saturday, March 12, 2005

I don't know who said it first, and in fact, when I try to think of who said it first, all I come up with is Thumper's mother from Bambi, and even that I may be remembering wrong. But whatever idyllic character came up with "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" should be captured, dipped in honey and tied to an ant hill. (Heh, isn't that sentence sort of ironic?) Anyway...

The week just kind of sucked. The fact that I think it sucked makes it suck more, because I ice the cake with disappointment in myself, that with the world full of tragedy and injustices I can't even fathom, I have the nerve to be upset about my more or less privileged life - which is occasionally peppered with unpleasantries. Nonetheless, this be the way it is! I have these new exercises I am supposed to be doing for PT and they hurt, so I am dealing with that 24/7. Home life has been way too rocky for my taste. My mom is still in rehab after her surgery and is feeling a lot of pain and despair. We've had two significant snowfalls this week, one of which added an hour and a half to my already long commute. Yesterday my coworkers decided to have a pizza party but didn't plan it very well, so while they all got to punch out and have an actual lunch break, I took a slice of pizza up to my desk and kept working, all the while listening to them laugh and have a grand old time back in the treatment area. I needed the extra hour anyway (left early the night of the first snow storm), but could have used even a few minutes of a break during my 11-hour day... We also ended yesterday by euthanizing three different dogs and having someone bring in a fourth who got hit by a car, to have him cremated. The first three were merciful and necessary - all of them were dying. But the third somehow got fifteen miles from home and smacked by a vehicle.

The first dog, an 14-year-old white German Shepherd named Roxie, we saw a couple of weeks ago to remove a mass between her toes that kept bleeding. She did great with the anesthesia and recovery, but when I called a week and a half later to tell them the pathology was good news, the owners told me Roxie was outside laying in the snow, as if waiting to die (I think that was Tuesday). I was kind of shocked that they didn't call us and I suggested they bring her down as soon as they could. They showed up later in the afternoon and sure enough, she was dying. Bloodwork a week and a half earlier was perfect - even for an ancient dog. We admitted her and began fluid therapy and stuff - "supportive care" more than anything else - per their request. Sometimes these things end up being toxicity to something she ate outside or in the garbage and we can turn it around. But not this time. Roxie was happiest outdoors, so the owners came yesterday afternoon and we euthanized her outside, under the falling snow. It was so sad but kind of beautiful in a weird way.

The second dog was a Boston Terrier who had some kind of rare cancer and was basically just wasting away. He was all bones, but still full of himself. He jumped up and put both his little scrawny paws on my knees and peed all over my pant legs. We call those "happy piddles," when they're so happy to see you that they literally can't contain themselves. So that one was kind of intense for me, that this little spastic dog was so outgoing and trusting, not knowing we were about to end his life. It was the right thing to do, rather than let him suffer, but still sad.

The third dog was a very old Great Pyrennes whose bones just couldn't carry him anymore. Those large breed dogs almost always have sad, crippled endings and all too often, people let it go too long, as was the case here. This dog couldn't walk at all and had been laying in their garage for who knows how long, in his own urine and feces because he couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. I hated those people for letting him live like that, but at the same time, I felt their agony at having to decide when to end his life. Some people wouldn't have decided at all, and let him live out his last days in sheer misery. At least they spared him something.

I know how life is and I'm glad we have the power to relieve animal suffering, but it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't change the grief of the owners, and it doesn't change what a fucking sponge I am. I cried softly to myself all the way home last night, just to let out all of the pain I had inadvertently absorbed. It was just a really hard way to end the week. I read this article in the Critter Exchange about "compassion fatigue" and recognized myself to a "T." At least they've named the thing that happens to your spirit when you are exposed to too much suffering and death. May not be able to cure it, but I am glad to know I am not alone...

Alrighty then, I'm done. Hope your weeks, both past and next, are better than mine.


Posted @ 10:41 AM

Monday, March 07, 2005

I just have one thing I want to bitch about before I go start laundry. Well, maybe it's technically two things, but they're related: 1) I thought breasts were supposed to reach full size by a woman's early 20s, and any changes thereafter (aside from those due to pregnancy) were only in shape and the effects of gravity from then on out. However, I was a full C in high school, went into a D in my early 20s - though I attributed that to weight gain - and even now that I have lost the weight, these mamas are now requiring a DD! What the hell is with that? My second issue is that although America and society in general seems to embrace big boobs, try finding a halfway decent bra that fits! If one is not willing to part with $25 plus per bra (which I am not), the selection is limited to bras even my grandmother would find prudish. We're talking white with reinforced stitching (the kind you see on tents!) and cups the size of dinner plates. Ugh. That does nothing for my sexual self-image. Anyway, just wanted to share. The grass is always greener I guess!

Posted @ 12:40 PM

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Well, last summer Dave and Michelle gave us all gift certificates to the local spa/salon to get pedicures, after getting through a particularly hectic summer. We had trouble coordinating schedules to all go together, then Sarah had her baby and was out on leave and then all of us just got absorbed (or more accurately, continued to be absorbed) in our everyday crap and the pedicures never happened. We finally went today. I have to say it was a damn nice experience. I wish it lasted longer. I have never been pampered like that. I picked this rosy-pinky color. I think it looks pretty darn cute, though it does clash with my koi. Oh, well. What would really match an orange koi fish anyway? Not much!

My mom had a bilateral knee replacement on Monday and is in rehab now, still in a lot of pain. I feel like a bad daughter, that I am here (NH) and she is there (MD) alone because my stepdad is a dink. The reality and restrictive nature of adulthood and grown-up obligations just sucks balls sometimes. This is a recurring theme with me lately, for anyone who didn't notice. It must be my impending birthday when I will not be in my "mid" 20s anymore. I mean, maybe I was out of the mids when I hit 26, but it didn't feel like it. 24-25-26 feel like mid. At 27, it officially becomes late. :o(

Anyhoo, I ran out of the house this morning without eating anything except a huge cup of coffee and I am now getting a little shaky and lightheaded, so I guess it's time to go stuff something into my face. Hope everyone's having a lovely weekend.

Posted @ 2:48 PM

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Mmmmm. I have the day off and Jay's at work so I am allowed to eat my cereal as loudly and slurpingly as I want. (He actually had the nerve to ask me to leave the room one time because he could hear me chewing. That was a bit ridiculous as far as I am concerned!) Anyway, thought I'd share something kind of quirky about myself...or maybe it's more obsessive compulsive...or maybe just very particular... I love Cheerios (generic or brand) with bananas. But, the bananas have to be evenly distributed both vertically and horizontally throughout the bowl. I accomplish this not by stirring a bowl that is already full of banana slices and Cheerios (because I like it full and it's too risky to stir), but by slicing the banana, adding a thin layer of Cheerios to the bowl, placing banana slices, adding more Cheerios, adding more banana slices and repeating until I reach the top. Then I only add milk until about halfway up the bowl, because I drink it within the first few minutes anyway, lest my Cheerios get soggy. I like them moist, but not squishy. I do this every morning before work. Is that fucked up? Do you guys have ridiculous little routines like this? Anyway, I don't think it's weird. I like 'em how I like 'em. If I were serving you Cheerios, you could have them however you want!

I have no plans today other than returning some movies and picking up more Darvocet at the pharmacy. So far that's the only pain medication (heh, I first typed "main pedication") that has worked and not made me sick in some way. Also on the top 10 addictive drugs list, but I guess I'll take my chances. This back pain still sucks balls. Went to PT last night and had more ultrasound and massage therapy which helped for a few hours. Kind of frustrating that it doesn't just GO AWAY for good. I know it will, it's just slow going. Ugh.

Met a cool chick on MTC. Also an Erin (the best kind!) :-P She's funny and sassy and outspoken and all that good stuff. I'm having a lot of fun with that site!

Anyway, I should go move my car before the plows come and the tyrants buzz me and make me come downstairs in my pajamas like it's an emergency. (God, I hate this fucking condo!) Hope everyone has a good day!!

Posted @ 9:20 AM

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