Friday, August 29, 2003

Thought of the day: "You have to do what you love to do, not get stuck in that comfort zone of a regular job. Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it." - Lucinda Basset

So...I totally have this nagging little "in limbo" feeling, like I am inbetween here and there, but I'm not sure where here and there are... It's weird. I feel like something needs to give, something's got to change, but I don't know what. It's just this antsy itch. What should I be doing? Where should I be going? What should I be planning? This website is a tiny extension of this big feeling about my life - that I need to change, redo, rebuild, but I don't know where to start, so I keep making these quick, badly-thought-out changes that don't satisfy me. *sigh* Is this my 1/3 life crisis? I want to move, I want a house. I don't know where to begin with that. I don't want to rent anymore. I'm sick of tipteoing around my neighbors in this godforsaken condo, hoping no one notices I didn't clean up an Indie poop right away (they're all in the woods or under bushes anyway, so I don't know what there is to bitch about) and reports me to the Board... And I am sick of not being able to have a garden, or paint, or blast music. Or let my dog run around without fear of being smacked by a semi on 3A. I am sick of driving 40 minutes to work and back every day. So maybe this feeling does have a source, or this is just the part which is playing into it the most... I want to get the hell out of here. But that means Jay and I have to decide if we are going to attempt to cohabitate (which with my history of horrendous roommates and his 11-year-disaster relationship, is an unbelievably huge step to take) because we live 10 minutes away from each other now and that is too far, so if I moved closer to work, it'd be even worse. But at the same time, I don't want to push us into something we might not be ready for... Aaaah! I just want things to be smooth and easy, though life has shown me - and brutally, I might add - again and again, that it will never be smooth and easy. I just wish I could get my inheritance money or something, buy a little house somewhere between my work and his and just live. I guess that's probably the hangup, really... I feel like I am not living, just existing. *sigh* Anyway, this banter is getting me nowhere, so I think I'm gonna go watch Chicago. Went to WalMart to pick up LOTR - The Two Towers and got Chicago, too. Jay will never rent it with me, though I would get he'd dig the scanty getups!

Posted @ 10:33 AM

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

I don't have a good "thought of the day," and I totally forgot to post one last time, so I'm gonna say screw it tonite, too. The scoop is that I am still sick and the ear thing is not better and now I am on some antibiotic that makes me nauseaus and dizzy. Yay! I have to say though, that the Doc gave me the meds for free (and even delivered them to me - we are next door to each other), and that is something for which I am grateful. Just hope it works. 7 days with no hearing or equilibrium can really wear on a girl. I am sick of being sick and feeling like shit. :o(

So with no inspiring, life-altering quote, and nothing happy to talk about, I will leave you with this:

Best Chicken Joke Ever

On a farm lived a chicken and a horse who loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his friend's life, the chicken began to think. Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friend the horse. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive in the shiny BMW, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life..

The moral of the story???????

When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

Posted @ 7:43 PM

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Happy Saturday, everyone! I have been up since 5:56 this morning, which is an unbelievably horrible hour, but the time at which I get up during the week, so I am kinda biologically timed to wake up at the same time every morning, regardless of whether or not I have to. Kinda sad. Oh, well. I am getting a lot done. Trying to install my Windows Updates, which are supposed to be happening automatically, but are not. Anyone know why? I am totally paranoid too about the viruses that are loose right now. My Norton says I am clean and all up to date, but I just know so many people who have gotten hit, I find it hard to believe. I don't mean to question a good thing, but seriously... How could I not have a virus when my friend Sarah's husband's entire network at work got wiped out, despite insane firewalls and all kinds of other precautions I don't take? I wish I knew more about this shit, but I am clueless. So I am just trying to get everything as current as I can. Sometimes I am thankful for this god-awful phone connection I have. Seems to make me a little less vulnerable. Anyway...

Nothing major going on. I have an appointment to get my hair cut at noon. This would make the eyeballs of any half-decent stylist roll up in her head, but I haven't had a haircut in probably a year. (So much for the every-six-weeks trims!) Anyway, I have just had bad experiences with stylists and lost track of the one girl I trusted. But I finally found her. So yippeeeeee! I'm excited. :o)

Jay and I watched Narc this morning. Anyone seen it? It was excellent, but definitely not warm and fuzzy! It was brutal, honest, dark. The end left a lot of "but what happens to [fill in the blank]?," but aside from that, I liked it a lot. The cinematography was great, totally made you feel the freezing cold of Detroit in the winter, and the frantic nature of it all. A good flick, I'd have to say. Maybe I'll go see if Casey wrote a review on it. Clearly my strength as far as reviews go is with music, not movies! Lol. Anyway...

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Posted @ 9:55 AM

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Ugh. What a pissy and moany day. Somehow after cleaning my ears after my shower Tuesday morning (very routine thing!) I developed fluid in my inner ear, which has been throwing off my balance and I can't hear a damn thing. I don't have insurance right now, because I needed to kinda up my finances again (6 weeks off between jobs is hard on the bank account!) and didn't want to spare the $1 or so an hour, and the only doctor's office at which I am an established patient is way up in Hopkinton, hell and gone from work, so it would have been a huge pain in the ass to go see them. My other option? Barrington Family Practice, next door to work, which is also an "urgent care" facility and takes walkins, but makes you pay dearly for it, especially if you are new to them. So $107 later, I have been told that I have fluid in my ears. No shit. I knew that. They did give me some samples of Allegra-D and Nasacort (yay, a nasal spray...ugh), because they think it is from allergies... I am hoping they're right. I don't have money to spend on some exotic ear condition. So send me happy, healing, draining vibes, 'cause this sucks.

Other than that, nothin' goin' on. Today is very dead at work, so I am whiling away the hours working on files and other monotonous tasks. Yay me. Can't wait to have people to boss around, when the job title actually becomes useful. Lol. Just kidding. I'm a good manager, not a tyrant.

Guess I'll get back to the grind. Hope everyone is having a good day!

Posted @ 12:32 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Mmmmmm... Coffee. Happy Wednesday, everyone. I have today off and plan on intermittently reading, napping, and doing laundry. I love days without commitments. Days when I can do whatever I want, or don't want. *sigh* It's funny how as I get older, I take pleasure in simpler and simpler things, where a couple years ago, I would have been psyched to have something fun and exciting to do today. Now I am psyched that I have nothing to do today. Lol. I am such a friggin old lady.

I had written a review of a certain DVD from a certain taboo genre, but have thought twice about posting it. Can't have y'all thinking I am a porn hound. (Even though I am. Tee hee hee. Just kidding.) If anyone wants to know what I saw and what I thought of it, feel free to email me. It's worth checking out.

Gonna go start the laundry. Hope everyone has a very happy Hump Day, and as always, happier if you're actually humping!

Posted @ 7:45 AM

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Well, here I am at 4 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. Worked 7:30-12:30 (it sucks getting up at 6 on a Saturday!) but it was really busy, so it went fast. Then I came back here and took a nap. Will be connecting with my honey shortly probably to go get a movie and maybe dinner. Shorty's is right next to the movie place, so that'd work. *big smile* I have been craving espinaca fiercely. I found a recipe for it online, but it turns out (and I don't know why I didn't realize this before!) that "espinaca" is just Spanish for "spinach," so "espinaca con queso" - as the dip is officially called - could be any sort of combination of spinach and cheese. The stuff I made was good, but it wasn't anything like Shorty's. Oh, well. Someday I'll play mad scientist in my kitchen and figure it out. For now, going out is fine with me!

I keep having dreams about someone I recently parted ways with and I can only say that I hope they're just dreams and not intuition or some shit, because they're not good. I am hoping it's just my psyche's way of dealing with the loss or something, 'cause I can't shake the feeling that she's in trouble. Then again, that same "danger" feeling is what lead me into disaster in the first place, so maybe it's best ignored. Who knows. *sigh*

I am butting heads with my mother hard core this weekend. I don't know if it's that she's more irritating than usual, or I have just lost my tolerance for it. She's just impossible to communicate with, and then gets mad when she's misunderstood. Ugh. She just sent me an email which said "You have been quite rude and insulting to me for quite some time now," which is funny because we only butted heads yesterday and haven't said an unkind word to each other in months... Eh. What can I say? I sincerely believe that living in East Buttfuck Maryland has distorted her perception of how normal people function, and she is just like drowning down there, with no outside contact. She is pretty much alone besides my stepdad who is too drunk most of the time to be much of a presence, and she only goes into town (40 minutes away) like every 2 weeks. So I would guess just being alone is making her loopy. I don't know. It's just really frustrating. I don't know how to deal with it. *sigh*

Guess I should go. I wanted to post some nasty pics of the henna experience the other day. Wednesday I think it was. So when I say it looks like I have packed my hair with hot diarrhea, you will know I am not kidding! Hope everyone is having a good weekend! :o)

This is what happens when you apply over the tub.

The Hair

The mixing receptacle.

The double rainbow (look closely) from the same afternoon!

Posted @ 4:23 PM

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Thought of the day: "Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it." - Evan Esar

Ugh. It is probably 95 degrees in here right now. I have today off and am spending it beautifying my living space. Just steam-cleaned the living room. What a job that was. I don't know why, but it seems that if a beer and an ash tray are to be spilled, they will be spilled in the same spot - beer first, ashtray second - so the ashes stick to the carpet and you never can quite get it clean. Well, my brother lived here before I did (my stepdad owns the condo) and that phenomenon was common occurence. I have steam-cleaned the livingroom probably 7 times and it still looks like shit. Oh, well. It's better, at least. I was thinking of posting some pics of my pad when it's all in order. Forewarning: that very well may never happen. :P

Don't know what else I'm gonna do today. Maybe some henna. Been a while. And my hair could use the help. Wicked dry these days for some reason.... Jeezus. Do I think anyone cares about this shit? No. Do I have anything interesting to say? No. Lol. Guess I better scoot then. Hope everyone is having a good day. :o)

Posted @ 12:18 PM

Monday, August 11, 2003

Thought of the day: "Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards." - R.A. Dickson

I thought that quote was funny. :o) I am on my lunchbreak at work with nothing to do, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to update the ol' blog. This weekend was exhausting, but good. Much activity of the heart. Almost lost someone I love, but all is well now and the future seems brighter than ever. And I saw my Anna, my best friend in high school. I hadn't seen her in probably 3 or 4 years. We went out for Thai food at the Siam Orchid. I of course had what I always have, pad Thai, because the last time I digressed from that, whatever I ordered smelled like feet, and I didn't want to take any chances this time. I had forgotten how much I love that restaurant. Gotta go more often! (Don't let the foot smell comment deter you if you are in the area and want to try something new. Just avoid the ginger chicken with black mushrooms!)

I am ridiculously tired 'cause for some reason I didn't get a wink of sleep last nite. Maybe something to do with the almost-full moon and the fact that it was like 95 degrees in my apartment. Ugh. I am so looking forward to fall. I felt an autumnesque breeze on the balcony Sunday morning. Gave me goosebumps, not because it was cold, but because it reminded me of how much I love fall. :o)

Guess I should get back to work. Hope y'all like the new layout. Muchas gracias to my honey for helping me figure out what I was doing wrong that created that sand-papery texture on the last 2 or 3 layouts I have done. If anyone even noticed. Lol. I guess that's all for now. :o)

Posted @ 2:16 PM

Friday, August 08, 2003

Thought of the day: "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself; nothing, but the triumph of principles." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well, I have a dilemma. I am at work, alone, I have to go to the bathroom, but if I leave my desk I know the phone will ring and we will miss a call and possibly a new client, which, as a new facility, we really need. Hmmm. What's a girl to do? Blog, that's what. Blog to distract myself from the pressure! Blog to distract myself from the pangs! Ugh. This is agony. And not very good blogging material, I will admit. Here. Go check this out.

Hey, it's Friday, isn't it? Yee haw! Time for the...yup, you guessed it: Friday Five.

1. What's the last place you traveled to, outside your own home state/country? Maryland, for the worst vacation ever.
2. What's the most bizarre/unusual thing that's ever happened to you while traveling? Hmmm... This giant, stoned Rastafarian walked up to me in Amsterdam when I was 15 and said, "Give me some pussy, baby!" As you can imagine, I ran back to the Hotel Americana faster than a speeding bullet.
3. If you could take off to anywhere, money and time being no object, where would you go? Probably Scottland. Or maybe I'd go back to Dominica. I don't know. I'd be happy just spending a week in the mountains. I'm not picky.
4. Do you prefer traveling by plane, train or car? Doesn't matter. Roadtrips can be fun, but tedious. If I fly, I have to find somewhere to stash my dawg. And I don't have access to many trains. Whatever will get me there, I guess!
5. What's the next place on your list to visit? Lol, this is probably sad, but I'd just like to go camping again. I don't need to be anywhere exotic to have fun. We are hoping to go camping again the weekend of the 23rd. *huge smile*

Woohoooooo! Barb is back, so I am off to the ladies' room. Hope everyone has a nice weekend! :o)

Posted @ 1:11 PM

Monday, August 04, 2003

Thought of the day: "I hate quotations." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I couldn't find a quote I liked. Or more accurately, it is hotter than an armpit in here and I don't want to spend the time trying to find one! So here's somethin' for ya:
This is what people in New Hampshire resort to when small town life gets too dull. Priceless!

Posted @ 8:12 PM

Sunday, August 03, 2003

Thought of the day: "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not." - Andre Gide

{edit} I removed the rest of this post out of lingering respect for a few people it offended, though I do not condone censorship. I do condone compromise. {/edit}

Posted @ 2:06 PM

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