Wednesday, April 30, 2003

UPDATE: At least $3K worth of damage to my green machine. *cries*

Posted @ 3:58 PM

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

The last few days have been a mixture of horror and bliss... On a good note, I am totally falling in love (yes, despite my jadedmess and distrusting nature and cynical outlook!) and that is beyond wonderful. He is beyond wonderful. *sigh* And damn is it scary, having something I might lose. Generally, I have nothing, so it would make sense that there is no risk involved and hence, no fear. And now I have something awesome and it's like fuck, this could be gone someday. It's wild talking about my past experiences (and his as well) and realizing why we are the way we are, and how things can change for the better... Breaking old patterns and just...bleh bleh bleh. It is too much to try to articulate. All I can say is more than words...

The horrific note is that a friggin 81-year-old handicapped woman broadsided me last nite and rendered my car undrivable. I swear that having a new car makes the Crash Fairies fuck you big time. So, I don't want to rant about the details 'cause I'll just get pissed, but the deal is that it was totally not my fault, I had the right of way and she was not paying attention, but since there were no witnesses, they are probably going to call it shared negligence or some shit like that and I am going to have to cough up a $500 deductible. *sigh* May is going to be so tight money-wise as it is, I really didn't need this. Oh, well. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right??

Posted @ 11:53 PM

Saturday, April 26, 2003

*yawn* Where to begin? Well, I have 3 new injuries to add to my "Ridiculous Injuries" list that I have in my head. The first one isn't really ridiculous, it just sucked... I was putting a boxer in a kennel yesterday and she bolted and rammed into my bad knee. Made my eyes water and I limped for about 30 minutes, but feels OK today... Then I went to dinner with my friend Sarah from work last nite and as I was biting into a Texas Chili Fry, I bit down so hard on the inside corner of my lip that I bit a chunk out of it and it was bleeding. Swollen today and I can feel it hitting my teeth when I talk. Then this afternoon, the KerrBear and I took our dogs down to the Humane Society of Nashua's Walkathon, but it was pouring rain so we didn't stay. We did let them loose in her back yard (fenced in, of course) and Isis came running at me full-speed and I don't know if she didn't see me or what, but she ran straight into my left thigh and hit me so hard even she yelped. I already have a bruise the size of a grapefruit. And it was only a couple hours ago, so it's gonna get uglier! Nothing like a huge purple and yellow bruise to add to your sex appeal! Ha ha. Guess I should be thankful, with that gigantic pitbull head of hers, it coulda been the size of a canteloupe!

I want to write about this guy I met through *gulp* Yahoo Personals, but as I mentioned in my last post, I am afraid that talking about good things jinxes them, and the truth is that I can't verbalize it anyway... It's just good. :o) So that's all I have to say about that.

I was pretty sure I was going to see the Bars tonite with my long-lost friend Desiree, but I haven't heard from her, so I doubt that's happening. S'ok with me, I am so friggin wiped out, it will be good to do nothing but be a slug on my couch tonite. Anyway, I think I'm gonna post some pics of Kerry's and my filthy dog. Then Indie needs a bath. She's caked in mud, but very happy! That's how I feel when I'm caked in mud, too. Lol. Later, taters.

Indie doin' the mud shake!

Pitbull love...

Dirty dawg!

Posted @ 2:18 PM

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

So I went to the post office to mail HP2 to Bailey and then ran into Judy at the health food store. She's a vet I used to work with and loved to death, who I thought was turned over the the dark side by Lindazilla (aka. Frosty the Snowbitch - former hospital manager) as far as her feelings toward me were concerned. I had called her a few weeks ago and left a message to see if the place at which she is now working was hiring and I never heard back, hence the assumtion that bad things had been said or thought... Anyway, it was the opposite of that - she said she told her coworkers she knew someone who'd be a good hire and says they were psyched, but just kept forgetting to call me... Turns out the ex-hospital manager of my current place of employment is working there too! Funny how small the veterinary circles are. Wish I had known, I am kinda in limbo with a few offers right now... I can't give details because I am absolutely convinced that I will jinx myself if I get too excited about anything (and a certain someone knows the depth to which I mean this!), but it was just good to see her.

Anyway, went to RiteAid and got a bunch of pick-me-up body and bath products and I think I am going to try to do some waxing. *gasp* So that's is all for now! Hope everyone had a happy Hump Day! (As always, happier if you were actually humping! Ha ha!)

Posted @ 3:59 PM

Monday, April 21, 2003

Long day. Long nite last nite. *wink* But get your minds out of the gutter - I was on the phone really late. It was worth it though. Well worth it. And you know who you are. :o)

Indie graduated from obedience tonite. I have mixed feelings. I am kinda glad it's over (a lot of pressure to perform...and I mean me, not her, as silly as that sounds), but I liked having somewhere fun to take her on Monday nites. I could have joined the intermediate class, which starts next week, but money is too tight now. Besides, I want to get her being a basic obedience champ before I try to get her to be an intermediate champ. Lol. No one's gonna push m'bay-beh!

I have to go make something to eat. The tumbly is grumbly. And then I have to make a phone call. So I will c-ya later, Taters!

Posted @ 9:01 PM

Sunday, April 20, 2003

I'v done it again... Not updated in almost 72 hours. Who cares anyway? Not like I am writing a syndicated column, right? Well, not yet anyway! Ha ha. I just got home from Jen's, where Daphne and Indie played and then eventually we all fell asleep (well, I didn't) in a huge pig pile watching movies. It was what I needed to do on a nite like tonite. Just to veg. We watched Devine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood and Kate & Leopold. Boy am I a sucker for a Meg Ryan Sap Fest! Anyhoo... "Ya ya" and "peddling pond scum" (said with a pompus British accent) will probably be inside jokes with Jen and I now. :o) Both movies were good and made me cry for different reasons. The child-beating-by-strung-out-mother scene in Ya Ya was too close to home, and the romance in K & L was just not close enough to home. Lol. I am such a geek. Oh, and to back up that self-labeling even further, we saw the preview for The Others before one of the movies and just about both peed our pants. That was enough for me! I am the biggest chicken ever when it comes to scary movies!

I was going to say "Happy Easter," but I am really quite agnostic (or just not very Christian), so I thought better to share a passage from one of my favorite books: Life Magic: The Power of Positive Witchcraft by Sarah Bowes (incidentally a great book for anyone who is even looking to get their pagan facts straight, if not practice them):

The Vernal Equinox (Page 53)
"The vernal, or youthful, equinox falls on March 21, the first day of Aries and spring. The sun has reached the equator, so the hours of day and nite are equal around the world. This festival is also known as Eostre, in honor of the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring. Eostre was ceremonially invoked on this day, and it is from her name that the word "Easter" is derived. "East" - the direction of the first light and warmth of the dawning sun - is also derived from the name of the Goddess of Spring. Many witches choose to place their alters facing east in honor of Eostre.
The Christian Church transformed this festival into a time to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. During church services, the priest turns to face the east as an expression of belief in Christ and as the harbinger to light itself. Church altars are placed in the east to signify the birth and resurrection of Christ, and Christians tend to be buried with their feet pointing eastward in the hope that their souls will be resurrected. The date for Easter Sunday is guided by the moon. It falls on the first Sunday after the Paschal moon - the full moon that occurs either on the equinox or on any of the following 28 days..."

On that note, I am continually amazed at how many Christian practices are in fact warped versions of stollen pagan holidays, but I don't want to really piss anyone off, so I won't get into that! So if it is not already evident, I do not have any Easter plans. Just another Sunday to me. Gonna do the usual. Hope everyone has a good day, whatever you are doing! :o)

Posted @ 2:47 AM

Thursday, April 17, 2003

I accidentally stabbed myself in the nipple with a syringe tonite. Uh, let me rephrase that: I stabbed myself in the nipple with a large guage needle which was still attached to a syringe I was trying to bring to the biohazard disposal thingy. Any lingering thoughts I have about piercing them flew out the window and I experienced the itchy, burning sensation some dogs supposedly feel from ProHeart. What a job I have. This experience is right up there with the nite after hours when James said "It's fucked up when I have a job that allows me to have a dead cat in one hand and a beer in the other," as we we walked up to the freezer... We are definitely made of weirder (if not stronger) stuff. There are so many shows about doctors' offices and ERs and shit, I often think there needs to be one about veterinary life. But no one but the sickos like us would laugh, I guess. Oh well!

Posted @ 8:57 PM

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Didn't do a damned thing today. Planned on sleeping in, but there is some sort of road-tearing-up going on at the base of my driveway and I was awoken at 7 a.m. to outrageous noise, doubly loud because I left the window open when I went to bed. Oh, well. Life goes on.

Went to the new Target up the street (coworkers are trying to convert me from being a WalMarter) and walked around in eerie silence. Not much business yet, and the floors are very shiny. Lol. I notice the dumbest shit. Anyway, got Harry Potter 2 and a stuffed alligator for Indie which she gutted in 10 minutes. That's a new record for her. I don't know why I even buy her toys, she just eats them. But's she's happy doing it, so I guess that's good.

James put in a tagboard (inspired by me) and I am going to post a quiz, inspired by her. :o) Happy Hump Day, everyone. I am off to listen to loud music and glide 'til I can't glide no mo'!

You are *Magenta*! You're husky singing voice and
luscious lips make you very very sexy! Guys
want you, girls want to be you and you have the
biggest hair ever seen on film! You do have a
rather strange obsession with your brother

Which Rocky Horror Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted @ 7:35 PM

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

It was like 80 degrees here today, with a gentle breeze blowing most of the day...or so I heard from the clients as they came in. I experienced, accumulitavely, about five minutes of it. But now... I am remembering what a true sensualist I am (Taurus, baby!), having put a fan in my window to let the warm night air blow in over my shoulders. *Sigh* I can't wait for warm weather, to run around in the rain. It's supposed to get wicked cold over the next few days though, so I will have to wait a little longer! You gotta love New Hampshire. For those who don't know, the joke is "Don't like the weather? Wait a minute." Never know what'cher gonna git!

Nothing on the schedule for tomorrow. Suppose I should do some laundry and clean the place a bit. My bod has recovered from Saturday, so I'll probably get back on the Gazelle, too. Yippee. My friend Joy, who is a tall, leggy blonde and has nothing to complain about really, once told me she wanted "a butt you could bend a pin on." I don't expect or even aspire to get there, but it's something to think about!

Posted @ 8:29 PM

Monday, April 14, 2003

Like sitting silent in the pouring rain,
dress in the mud, tears mixed with raindrops,
Waiting for a release that will not come,
the brutal truth of the inevitavble,
the hope that won't submit to death.
Waiting for you to appear at my door
and bear your body and soul,
to lay yourself at my feet for the taking...
To show me the reality I am missing,
to show me something stronger than
I could ever understand...but want to see.
Show me the way to bliss, show me the way
out of this indifference. Show me some blood,
show me some pain, show me anything
that can make me feel anything.
Look at me with want and let yourself go,
show me it all.

Posted @ 10:23 PM

Hmmm... It appears my comments are not working this evening. Oh, well. Thanks for the sweet tags, everyone. :o) I appreciate it. My Bailey Boy is always knockin' me for doing new layouts every other day, but the thing is I have HTML A.D.D. and I just get sick of looking at the same thing for too long. Keeps things interesting, no?

I don't have much to say tonite. Just tired. And sore! I don't know if this is the case for everyone, but the true magnitide of my muscle pulls does not set in until a good 48 hours after I did the damage and I am hurtin' today! It was so worth it though. I never would have imagined myself as being moved at all...let alone being moved to heavy metal and hard rock, but alas, I am. Probably 'cause it touches the angry, frustrated part of me and it's therapy to jump around and scream. Lol. Anyway, have a good Tuesday. I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball.

Posted @ 8:47 PM

Sunday, April 13, 2003

*rubs eyes and yawns* Mmmmmmmmm... Good morning. Boogied down to the point that my body is screaming today and my legs are weak. Lol. You'd think I...nevermind. Lol. You must be getting sick of the sexual inuendos by now! So anyway, the Bars were great as usual and we ended up getting the KerrBear out which was awesome. It just wouldn't be right without her.The cabbie was really cool, I almost think he would have come in and hung out with us if he wasn't working. Not like Dr. Love Cab who brought us to Scorz the weekend of the Teazer/Hysteria show! That was just whacky! Oh, and Hog's Trough was a pretty nice place - decoratively, nicer than Scorz. I have to admit I felt weird in there, 'cause it's not really our turf, for lack of a better word. I felt like people were watching us 'cause we weren't regulars, but the ladies room conversation was good and Coronas were only $3. (On that note, I left the house with like $65 and returned with $6. I think I musta dropped a twenty sometime throughout the nite. It's OK though. It was the boss's money... James and I have linked the timing of the tips to the ends of weeks or days when he has been a prick. If that pattern continues, this should be like a second paycheck! Ha ha.) Anyhoo, the evening ended with me falling asleep after a shower (my hair is crazy lookin' this AM, 'cause it dried funny) on the couch watching Animal Planet, like I always do. Ho hum. Nothing much changes.

I think that's it. I am going to post some new (well, new to you, old for me) poetry on the "Musings" page. I came across my notebooks from when I lived with Ammon and Jay and boy was I a tortured little doobie then! If you don't mind reading other people's misery, feel free to take a peek. And have a good Sunday! :o)

P.S. 8 pounds off since last Sunday. Wow!!! I think I lost half of that dancing last nite, but I'll take it (or leave it, more accurately) any way it wants to go! :oD

Posted @ 10:59 AM

Saturday, April 12, 2003

Posts are lacking, I know... Here's the skinny: this week was hard, boss was a dink (what's new?) and tonite James, her friend Eric, my friend Kristen and maybe possibly my long-lost friends Dizzy (Desiree) and Kelly and I are going to the Bars at Hog's Trough, which is 1.8 miles (per Mapquest) from here, so we will be taking a cab and drinking. I have to go take a shower and stuff, so I will fill you all in later! Maybe I will treat you all to a ridiculous blog in the wee hours when I get home!! :o)

And to the KerrBear:James and I are both sad that you won't be there tonite. It won't be the same... But I am going to jack up my boobs and dance like a maniac in your honor!

Posted @ 11:51 AM

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

I am trying not to stew about the fact that whilst doing a search for a good page on the Gazelle I bought (per Marc's request), I found it at for less than half what I paid (including S & H)... Oh well. I got it on eBay for $137.50 (plus $35 S & H) and it is like no less than $199 if you get it at Sears or someplace like that, so I still feel OK about it. Besides, I have bought broken shit from Walmart the land store, so I will just tell myself that it would be in really really bad shape if it was shipped by them, too. Yeah, that's it. I definitely got the better deal. Lol. Ah...denial!

The rundown: bad allergies, it snowed again yesterday, I worked out for 30 minutes last nite and the total poundage no longer on my body is now at 4. Oh, and James and I are going to the Bars this weekend at Hog's Trough, which according to the KerrBear's memory is a scary place, but Kenny assures me it is under new ownership and quite nice. So yay for me! Very psyched about that! Have a happy Hump Day everyone! Even happier if you are actually humping. Ha ha ha.

James has this posted in her blog and I thought it was really cool, so I am stealing it (giving her and the Pryncess full credit though!!) Don't hate my for my cheezy taste...

What band....
Reminder, y'all know I can't restrict myself to one answer (or a short answer) so there's your warning! Also, just for the record, no one's musical taste can be summed up this easily, so be nice. Lol.
Reminds you of an ex-lover: Metallica - the older guy from the other side of the tracks with the hockey cut, aka mullet. Yes, it's true.
Reminds you of an ex-friend: Jane's Addiction - Jay and Ammon...
Makes you cry: None
Makes you laugh: Sound Kings (thanks, Jay!)
Makes you smile: A lot of bands make me smile!
You never want to hear again: Missy Elliot (have to agree with James on this one!)
Sums up your teenage years: Counting Crows, Letters to Cleo, Belly, NIN
You want to get married to: Don't wanna get married!
You like to wake up to: I wake up to a hippie alarm clock that plays wind chimes because the regular buzzer sent me straight into a panic attack way too early in the morning! It's too rude an awakening, you know?
You like out of your parents record collection: Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, The Who
You love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: Tom Waits
You love the video more than the tune: Just got cable after like 7 years without, so I can't answer this. And I still don't have MTV.
Reminds you of your first crush/love: Phish, Bellafleck
Reminds you of your now crush/love: Don't really have one...
Makes you think of sex: Madonna, Medeski Martin & Wood (Bubblehouse)
Makes you think of being alone: Tori Amos, Ani DiFranco
Has only been released recently but you love already: Wow, am I a loser. Don't have anything too new...
Are you embarrassed to admit you like: Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears (but only when I am in the mood to prance around the condo nekkid and dancing like a ho, which is not often!)
You love to sing to: Jewel (know, ugh), Christina Aguilera, Janis Joplin...

Posted @ 10:28 AM

Monday, April 07, 2003

As I sit here eating a Lean Cuisine, it occurs to me to tell you that I have been stewing about a bunch of stuff and that's why I haven't had the will to post anything in the last 48 hours. I finally broke down and bought a scale on Sunday (after years of not owning one) and have forced myself to face myself head on. I knew I had gained some weight, but I didn't realize how much, and I am doing something about it!! This may be due to normal bodily functions, ie. I peed a lot or something, but according to the scale, I have lost 2 pounds since yesterday. I will go halves and say probably one pound, allowing for the aforementioned bodily functions. Anyway, I am hoping 20 minutes a day, a few times a week will be enough to make a difference as far as the Gazelle goes, 'cause I just can't handle longer than that yet! If anyone has any input for me, I would appreciate it!!

Other than that, I am not yet ready to air the rest of the stew. Rest assured, it is more of the same old shit. After all, nothing much changes here, does it?

Posted @ 9:02 PM

Saturday, April 05, 2003

lol, Woohoo!! I just worked out for the first time in a looooooong time. My Gazelle finally came via UPS yesterday and I dragged it upstairs (three flights), through the snow (yes snow!!) and assembled it, which was tedious but worth it. I told myself I'd do ten minutes at first, because as much as I hate to admit it, I am ridiculously sedentary (unless I am drinking and dancing, which is only once every so often, not the necessary forty-five minutes several times a week!) and I don't want to hurt myself. But... When the ten minute mark came, I thought I can do fifteen, then fifteen came and I thought I can do twenty. And it's not because it's wicked easy. The thing is, despite the fact that I am a stress smoker, my lungs are good, that part I can do. It's my knees that can't take it. But this is wicked low-impact, so it works out. *huge smile* I think this will prove to be a wise investment.

So, I mentioned snow above. Yes, this is New Hampshire and we always seem to get one last kick in the ass from winter, when it snows the first week in April. I would say Manchester got about six or seven inches over the last couple days. The thing is, the way the seasons are here, mother nature makes you really really happy when the next one comes. Although I was realizing the other day that we have more than 4 months of winter conditions, as is the technical length of the season. It snows about October (lightly) to April. That's six months! Damn!!! But it'll be 95 degrees soon and I will be wishing for the first snow again. *shakes head*

I was supposed to be in Pittsfield line tonite visiting my friend Sarah and her husband and new baby, letting Indie run around with six other dogs, a horse and a jumping goat named Margaret, but the roads were so bad I decided to stay in. We will have to reschedule soon, 'cause I was really psyched. And speaking of Indie, evidently the trainer I have been working with told Jen, her apprentice and the groomer at work, to invite me to do intermediate classes with her when they start at the end of this month or beginning of May. I figured she tried to get everyone from the basic classes to take the next one (that would be good business practice), but Jen emphatically denied that and said she actually has to talk a lot of people out of it. So I am a proud very proud mother. :o) At this point, I am sorry to say it will boil down to money. Lot of big bills in May. Insurance, car registration and inspection, and all that crap. Yay. Anyone wanna donate to the Educate Indie Fund?

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Posted @ 9:14 PM

Thursday, April 03, 2003

Long day. Tired. Eating the remaining half of an L.A. Monster Burrito I got at Shorty's last nite. Indie is coveting it. I might have to go back to work tonite to help with a c-section. There's this dumb breeder that actually plans to have her dogs deliver via c-section (when ordinarily that is done only in emergencies), which is stupid for many many reasons, but this woman prefers it this way, and always waits until we are closed for some reason (bad enough she does it, but couldn't she do it during the day?) and we all end up assisting and reviving puppies at all hours. I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but it's just irresponsible and it bugs me.

Nothing else really going on. Got a message from someone I don't talk to or see as much as I'd like to and that made my otherwise sucky day end on a good note. Speaking of ending (as in end of the day...bed...sleep), I had that stupid dream again last nite, except this time whatever it was that is freaky about it ('cause I don't remember it at all) made me shoot straight up in bed at exactly 12:00 a.m., the witching hour... I am fucked. Lol. Need meds. Or someone to tire me out to the point of near-dead exhaustion before I go to sleep. *wink*

*sigh* Anyway, tomorrow is Friday but I am working Saturday, so the suck fest does not end at the usual time. Oh well. So it goes. Oh, one last thing that made me laugh (at myself): on the phone last nite, Becca asked me how long it had been since I had sex and my first response was, "You mean, like, with a partner?" LMFAO!!! That is a sure sign that it's been too long! G'nite!

Posted @ 8:17 PM

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

I didn't get anything done today that I should've. Oh well. That's what days off are for. I don't have much to report, except that I have woken up every nite this week in the middle of a lucid dream that involves some strange electronic device (no, not that kind, more of a tracking device) in my bed and people talking to me. I never awake enough to realize it's a dream and commit it to memory, I just remember that it's the same thing every nite and it's starting to piss me off. Recurring dreams make me nervous because in my experience they are almost always meaningful and very often prophetic, but I have no idea what this one is about. *sigh* Let's see if I can get away with sleeping eight straight hours tonite...

I also talked to Becc via tele for a while tonite, which was nice. She's such a cool girl. I don't wanna embarass her by listing our topics of discussion, but I will say there are no taboo subjects. *wink* And, I was really bummed out last week and since I had sent her a cheer-up care package, she bought me a little somethin' somethin'... You need a little background to see the humor in this: last summer when I was not working, I was in the midst of setting up an adult site to make some money and one of the sets of pictures I took had a shower/bath theme and involved a rubber ducky... I won't get into details, but use your imagination. Lol. Anyhoo, Becc bought this for me. The odd thing is I didn't feel at all perverted with the batteryless rubber ducky, but I will feel like some kind of weirdo using this one, which is intended for that purpose. *shakes head* I know, I'm a freak. And for anyone who is new to my blog, beware: as there are no taboo phone topics between Becc and I, nor are there in this blog. Brace thyself. *wink*

Posted @ 10:10 PM

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Awh, well, this is nice. Right now Indie is covering a reluctant Whimsy (my bengal) in wet kisses. :o) I will write 1,000 words of pure bitching if I even write one, so I won't go there. But I will share this picture, 'cause it makes me happy. Even if I don't have harmony at work, I have it at home. :o)

This is Indigo and Whimsy (hence the screenname), the day after Indie had her first barium series and Whimsy had a pyometra spay. Vet talk for "they were both sick and comiserating."

P.S. There you go, Rob. Enjoy! *wink*

Posted @ 10:25 PM

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