Friday, January 31, 2003

SITE UPDATE: I went a little silly w/the sound recorder and made a wav page. Try not to fall out of your seat laughing at me.

So the weird story I posted last nite and then deleted accidentally (yeah, that is what happened...doh!) was as follows: I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping. And when I do, it is punctuated by vivid and whacked dreams. Well, Wednesday nite, I kept having this dream about Kate from work having lost a set of keys and hysterically searching for them... It was very real and I kept dreaming it over and over. So on Thursday, I asked her, just out of curiosity, if she had recently lost a set of keys. She stared blankly at me for a second and then said, "Yes." I thought she was kidding at first, but then she said that her hubby had lost both sets of keys to their truck and they had not been able to drive it. The keys turned up the day before I dreamed about it. Isn't that cosmic? Lol. *twilight zone music* And ever weirder, I took an ESP quiz before I went to bed that nite on or something like that, and it asked questions like, "Do you ever have dreams about something before it happens or before you knew it happened?" When I got to the end, it told me "you have a gift" or some shit like that, and then had an order form if you wanted to order the full report and see how many you actually got right (there were a lot of multiple choice "what number is under the gray box" type questions... Of course being the cynic that I am, I thought the whole thing was crap and it probably told everyone they had a gift, just so they'd order the results... I still think that. Lol. But it was just weird timing, right before those dreams...

Thought I might get in on a little Friday Five action:

1. As a child, who was your favorite superhero/heroine? Why? Hmmm...My brother and sister and I were all about Superman. He was just the coolest of the superheros available to 80s kids for worshipping purposes. We were the kids who always had towels pinned to the backs of our shirts like capes.
2. What was one thing you always wanted as a child but never got? The ability to fly. In fact, this is another one that was special to my siblingry. (Is that even a word? Lol.) We all used to ask for the ability to fly at every applicable occasion: birthday, Xmas, even from the Tooth fairy...
3. What's the furthest from home you've been? Netherlands.
4. What's one thing you've always wanted to learn but haven't yet? How to play acoustic guitar, but my fingers are too short! And U.S. History, as lame as that is. Someday I will get a good book.
5. What are your plans for the weekend? Hang out with my sister, who turned 21 this week. :o) Other than that, sleep and clean my place.

That's all for now. I am whipped, wrecked, beat, up, dried, done. Later, Taters. :o)

Posted @ 8:43 PM

Thursday, January 30, 2003

James and I are IMing and she just sent me her profile and it reminded me of the ones I had once upon a time, the way I met Psycho Steve this past summer... Well, I tried logging in, just for shits and giggles, and guess what? They're still there. And yes, they, because I figured more than one pic increased my odds of finding someone cool (or finding someong fucking crazy, as it turned out), like buying more than one Megabucks ticket. Ups the odds, right? Well, here they are - kinda makes me laugh. :o) 1 2 3

I had this wicked weird experience to share, but I am too tired right now. Maybe tomorrow, if I don't arrive home in a work-induced coma. What am I talking about, of course I will. I always do. Well, if not tomorrow, then Saturday. It's a good one. Stay tuned. :o)

Posted @ 10:19 PM

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

No croc hunter for me. Not yet, anyway. Evidently the maintenance assholes in this joint refused to let the cable guys into the basement and said that they had informed everyone that 24-48 hours notice was needed. This was unbeknownst to me and if the guy was down there with a key anyway, what's the deal? Anyhoo, the AT&T guys were cool and I will reschedule. Just gotta live with my 4 lonely channels a little longer.

I have only had a cup of coffee today and I am starving. For some reason I occasionally have this major aversion to grocery shopping. I don't know why. Maybe it's the whole "public" thing. I used to laugh at my mom for hating public places so much - like she was totally overwhelmed with places like Walmart and such - but I get it now. Hoards of people suck. Lol.

For some reason the "payment in full" I made towards one of the VISAs was not "in full," and I have a $64 and change balance again. Heads are gonna roll and I'm gonna whip some asses over at Providian.

Nothing else exciting today. I have spent almost the entire day doing stuff for my mom's website and being pissed at my computer. Dare I reverse my good deed w/the credit card payments and use the BestBuy card...? Nah!! This'll work for now.

Think I'm gonna go mix up a batch of henna for the old mop top. Nothin' like packing your hair full of what appears to be hot diarrhea. But of the shine! Lol. Later, taters. (Credit to the KerrBear for use of the tater teminology.) *wink wink*

Posted @ 3:24 PM

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

What better to watch after a 13-hour-work-day with a piece of pizza in one hand and a beer in the other, than....The State of the Union Address? Ugh. Thank god the cable guy is coming tomorrow. As narrowminded and ignorant as this is, I almost prefer not to know how fucked up things are, or in what ways the good ol' government is gonna try to fix it, while generally creating a myriad of other problems... I feel like a shit sometimes, 'cause people like my sister (who is turning 21 tomorrow!!) are out there trying to see the light and make a positive difference and I am shielding my eyes to it, just trying to get through my own shit. I guess we all do what we have to do, we are all "just surviving" one way or another, whether it be on the streets or on 5th Avenue. We all have so many days and then it's over. I am trying to make the most of them...

On that note, I am going to put my blinders on, pop in a DVD, crack open another beer and finish this Hawiian pizza. :o) And hey, don't hate me, I just have the balls to admit my character flaws...

Posted @ 9:49 PM

Monday, January 27, 2003

Yup, got bored again. I am home sick today because I ordered a ham and cheese sub from a pizza place up the road for dinner last nite and got wicked food poisoning or something. Ugh. I hate vomiting!!

Listen, if you take the time to visit here, please take the time to say hello. It'd mean a lot to me. :o)

Posted @ 12:35 PM

Sunday, January 26, 2003

OK, this is exciting to me at least (sorry if don't think so): I finally got my car accident settlement money from 12/99 and just paid off all my credit cards. And I still have some money left over. *huge smiles* Only remaining debt is my car. Yiiiiiiipppppppppeeeeeeeee!

This is one of the funniest things ever. Found it over at Here's a snippet from the Bars site, when put through the Shizzolator: "So here we are over 15 years later 'n da band continues carry on wit its original goal: To present bomb diggity renditions of cover tunes in a hella entertaining format n' shit. The current line up of members is as gravy as da band has ever been." Sometimes you just have to fuckin' love the internet.

Posted @ 5:16 PM

Sober now. Eeeeek. I am just a mental carnival, huh? Kenny said I was "intense" Friday nite. Lol. I don't necessarily think that is a good thing. Oh, well. I am always like this I guess, if I want to be honest with myself... But seriously, I think it's worse 'cause of the weather, cabin fever, and the fact that I am approaching the deady 6-month-mark. Maybe I am a weirdo, but I get a little mental (ok, more mental) when I have had no physical contact in 6+ months... All I friggin want is some attention! Not a soulmate, not a endless love... Just someone to do shit with, wake up with, make breakfast for, look forward to seeing, get messages from, shave my legs for (yeah, I am serious!)... I am such a lameass. *shakes head* Some things never change.

I am clueless enough that I think the Super Bowl is tonite, but I don't even know... Last year I knew the Pats won because the condo was shaking below and on all sides from everyone who was watching the game. Indie was running around barking under her breath because the rumbles were coming from everywhere and she was baffled. It was priceless. Anyway, I guess I should go do some laundry or something. Ugh.

Posted @ 3:37 PM

Drunk. Had more beer upon returning home from party, after which I was not drunk, just tired... Amazing what lack-of-sleep can do to enhance the effects of alcohol. Advance warning: forgive typos please. I will try to be good, but still............

James and I just sat in the car after Jean's surprise birthday party (at which a certain someone I really wanted to hang out with failed to show...grrrrr) and lamented about relationships, which seem to be the topic of the moment lately... I know where I stand, I know what I think (for the most part), it is usually the other person I don't trust. I don't know if I ever will. I just can't seem to believe -- even though I know I am worth it!!!! -- that someone could be loyal to me. What the fuck? Phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

I need to get laid. Ha ha. And once again, Erin seamlessly passes off serious issues with oversimplification and sarcasm...........

Posted @ 12:50 AM

Saturday, January 25, 2003

OK, 2 things: I just came back from a quick store run and a) Indie has figured out how to unlatch her kennel from the inside and was running loose in the condo, being distructive and the novelty of having a wicked smart dog is wearing off... And b) I got The Strokes' CD Is This It, and it's really good. :o) Later, Taters.

Posted @ 12:35 PM

*rubs eyes* G'mornin'. Bars were great, as usual. I am so friggin' sore. I am 25 years-old (almost) and I can't dance all nite and not be sore in the morning. *cries* Oh, well. Finally got one of my shirts. (Yes, Kenny, I need another one, but I'll pay for it!) I told Jamie I'd get her one for kittysitting for me when I was in MD, so the first one's hers. Ain't I just so considerate? *pats self on back* Ha ha.

I had Dos Equis for the first time last nite. My boss trades services with a lot of his clients, one of whom is a beer distributer. So he got each of us a case of beer. I wanted Corona but they didn't carry it, so he got me Dos Equis, because it is Mexican beer... Well, I took a sip and thought to myself, "This is nothing like Corona." Well, turns out it is made in Mexico by a German. Lol. So it is German beer incognito. Lol. Not bad though.

This strange character IMed me this morning and offered to exchange massages for tutoring in nursing. I was like, "Eh, I am not a nurse," and he said, "But veterinary techs (he knew from my profile) have to know pretty much the same stuff, right?" I said, "Well, I am a receptionist, so I wouldn't be of much help." Then he started calling me "hon." Ack!!! So sick of the fucking perves!!!!!!! (Excluding the perves I know and love -- and you know who you are!) I can't believe he thinks anyone would fall for that crapola.

Doin' the party/music/booze thing again tonite. Sort of a "double header," if you will. It's been a long time since I partied. Feels damn good.

Posted @ 10:21 AM

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

What's new? Um, nothing. I'm tired. And cold. Friggin' been like 2 weeks below 15 degrees. WTF?? I will take tons of snow or freezing cold, but not both. Is this el nino or something? Someone fill me in before my eyes get frostbitten and I can no longer stare vacantly at my computer!

So the only exciting thing lately is that I called AT&T Broadband, not get high-speed internet, I am still too cheap for switch to them for local service 'cause Verison sucks, and although I always thought I could not have cable, or more to the point did not have cable, because I thought it was too expensive... *takes breath after run on sentence* ...I am getting my local, long distance and cable through them for some obscenely low fee ($17.95 I think?) and now I can watch the Crocodile Hunter!!! What more can a girl ask for?

Going to the Bars this weekend, psyched. I was starting to have withdrawl.

Last thing: what the hell is up with my tag board?? They always say the boards are down for system updates and shit (as is the case presently), but I think it is regulated, purposeful downtime to cause people to upgrade to the pay boards once the irritation w/the free ones becomes too much to bear. Damn conspiracy it is.

Posted @ 6:31 PM

Monday, January 20, 2003

Guess whose perfect dog learned to retrieve today? Yeah, I know she is a little old (almost 2 years) to be just catching on, but until today a game of fetch to Indie was, "Hey, thanks for the ball. See ya." Yay, my little girl is growing up. :o)

Nothing else to report. It is outrageously cold here. I will take snow or arctic air, but not both. This sucks.

Posted @ 7:16 PM

Sunday, January 19, 2003

I am in the midst of seriously cleaning the condo and needed a break. You know the crust that forms in the corners and along the baseboards and is doubly awful if you happen to have pets and it forms no matter how often you vacuum? That's the project for today. Anyway...

It has been under 15 degrees farenheit here for like a week and a half. I need spring!

Posted @ 1:21 PM

Saturday, January 18, 2003

So, KerrBear and I went shopping today and didn't find anything clothing-wise. Evidently all the dance/club wear is for girls who wear sizes 0 through 4. Oh, well. I wanted to get something cool for the Bars show next weekend. I am so psyched!! Haven't seen them since November.

This and this are making me laugh so hard I am crying.

Gonna go watch Jimmy Fallon on SNL. Mmmmmmm.

Posted @ 11:24 PM

Friday, January 17, 2003

TGIF!! This week has just been nuts. Probably the longest (of seemingly longest) week I have ever worked at my present place of employment. Ugh. These are the highlights:

Dumbass client packs minivan full of unvaccinated cats she has living in her barn, all of whom are totally wild because they are unsocialized and breeding indicriminantly because they are unspayed and unneutered. Dumbass opens up back of van, kitten bolts and disappears into woods. Client attends appointment with other cats and leaves. Staff considers kitten dead meat, 'cause it's been 15 below zero at nite lately, and he is young and lost. Staff spots kitten a few days later. Member of staff climbs tree trying to catch kitten. Kitten divebombs out of tree and further into the woods. Staff sets Have-a-Heart trap Thursday morning. Lastnite, Jamie and I are about to leave. I get a funny feeling and suggest we check the trap. Sure enough, there he was. Neutered and vaccinated this afternoon. Yay for us.

Let boss' daughter loose with Whoopie Cushion. She's 5 and thinks it is the best thing ever. I have been advised by her mother that it would not be in my best interest to bring in my Fart-in-a-Jar...

Tech calls in sick this morning, but for an odd reason. "Fuckin Liz, man," she says. "What happened?" I say. "She opened a kennel door and made me walk into it. My boob is purple and as big as one of yours. And I think she might have punctured one of my implants." (No, this is not a joke.) Tech goes to doctor, is not punctured.

This is my life... Kinda "National Lampoon's Long Lost Cousin," ain't it?

Posted @ 8:35 PM

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

I worked on Teazer stuff for 2 hours today with Jean, so he and the KerrBear and I are going to Shorty's for espinaca and flan. Yippeeee! Last time we all went, we rolled out. That's how it oughta be. :o)

Posted @ 5:35 PM

So I got online just now and I got an offline message (which means that even though I was not online at the time, this ass was so determined to express his sentiment, he sent it anyway) from some dumbass on Yahoo who saw my new gag profile and felt the need to tell me "You are fucking huge! How many cases of Twinkies did it take you to get that fat????!!!!!!!!" Well, go look at the profile and then come back here. I'll give you a minute................................

OK, so you see what the problem is here? That was posted as a joke, and it even says so on the profile. So this jerk was just looking at pictures and felt the need to feed his pitiful sense of self by ripping someone else apart. I am usually above this shit, but this guy pissed me off, so I sent him back a not-so-nice response. This was just the kind of ignorant, ill-defined piece of shit I needed to verbally let loose on. I am trying to be positive in general, but this shit is just ridiculous. I can't believe people don't have anything better to do.

Anyway, that's all. People suck. Lol.

Posted @ 10:01 AM

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

Stoli Vanilla Vodka is not so good when chased with a glass of milk. *Adds grocery shopping to tomorrow's "To Do" list* Why am I drinking on a Tuesday nite, you ask? Well, I have Wednesdays off and I am burned out and I have been overthinking everything lately, which is depressing in itself... I realized that in all the relationships in which I have been, whether I knew it at the time or not, I was never "the only one," -- meaning I was loyal, he was not -- so maybe this is how I have gotten to be comfortable, in this pattern. You can't lose what you don't really have, right? I don't know. Psychology sucks. But these are the things I think about, when I can't sleep at nite and am staring at the ceiling at 3 in the morning. I pick myself apart and the scary thing is, I understand it all. I know why I do this and why I do that. I just seem to be helpless to change it. Fucking frustrating.

Oooooh, inebriated inspiration. Yummmmmm.

Posted @ 8:23 PM

Monday, January 13, 2003

It dawned to me tonite as bagged up a dead dog that my job can be really fuckin' weird. And I was happy to realize I was made of the seemingly "stronger stuff" a person has to be to work in this field, when it dawned on me that it is not necessarily stronger, but damn crazy, for sure!

I was getting sick of the winter theme, and I have determined that Jamie and I are suffering from S.A.D. (you know, totally not considering the obvious -- that we are working too many hours and don't get to see what little daylight there is), and so I pulled the [Version: Winter]. This makes the 4th bad layout in like 2 months. Lol. What do you want from me?

Got a good email tonite, from someone I thought was trying to blow me off nicely, so I took the hint and disappeared into the woodwork... Well, evidently that was not the intent. And that's all I have to say about that. *nipples get hard* Lmao. Man, those of you who don't know me must think I am one crazy bitch (and yeah yeah, those of you who do know me probably think the same *wink wink*), but for real... Last full-blown (no pun intended) sexual encounter: September. Last physical contact: Kissing, November. *starts to cry* Lol.

That's all the self-humiliation I can stand tonite. Buh-bye.

Posted @ 9:07 PM

Sunday, January 12, 2003

I felt like I had something exciting and/or fun to share, but now I can't think of what it is. Hmmm... Damn. Well, here's what I did today:

OK, I take it back. I do not have anything fun, nor exciting to share. Lol. I am such a geek!

Posted @ 8:36 PM

OK, I can admit when I am wrong... Sometimes. Ha ha. Yesterday (and I hesitate to say this, for fear of jinxing myself) was not as bad as I thought it would be. Father-wise, I mean. Work sucked. Lol.

Indie has been puking all morning and I am a little worried about that. Last couple times we went through this, $500 worth of barium and xrays ensued. Ugh. My fault though, for letting her get into whatever she got into. I think it was just rawhide. I get her those 2-foot-long bones so she won't choke on them, and sometimes we still have probs. Such is life with a dog, I guess.

I got an email this morning from someone I don't know... "Well, I'm glad there's people out there which make me feel alive, true people,
just like you." Fan mail? Are you kidding? Wow! In any case, glad to know I am not just talking to myself. I mean, that would be OK, but part of the comfort I find in having an online blog is because I know at least one person knows what's going on with me. Makes life a little less lonely.

I have to go brave Manchvegas and hit WalMart and PetCo. But before I go, I have to post a PUBLIC NOTICE:

I have been informed by the KerrBear that using the phrase "Later, Taters" is an copyright infringement. Lmao. So KerrBear, there's your credit. Now shut up. (J/K!!) *gives you a wedgie and runs away* Neener neener neener!!

Posted @ 12:11 PM

Friday, January 10, 2003

This might be long. Prepare thyself. And if you came here from Becca's ('cause I know she just recently posted a "Friends" page I am on, just be forwarned, this site is about me, which includes ups and downs, good and bad. If all you are looking for is pics, click here.

So here's the deal: I am estranged from my father. It has been like this for a long long time...and I am talking 14+ years. And only every once in a blue moon does he make any effort to contact me, or be fatherly, which is pointless anyway, because I have been without him for so long. He can't just swoop in and play Dad. Anyway, our contact has been limited to very infrequent visits and occasional emails. But lately he has been telling my mom (they are divorced) these sob stories about how I ignore him, don't return his phonecalls or emails, etc., when there are no phonecalls being made or emails being sent! This pisses me off for many reasons, but the worst ones are that a) he is lying, and b) my mom is buying it! This is the man who broke her jaw, cheated on her, blah blah blah. Anyway... The point is that he has guilt tripped me into going to lunch with him tomorrow and as much as I don't want to, I feel like I have to, or he will come up with some other deluded story and I will never hear the end of it. And it's not even my mom buying it that bugs me so much, it's that I really think he believes it. *Sigh* I wish it was easier to explain, but it boils down to this: my father is a lying, cheating, manipulative man and was I not biologically bound to him, I would not have anything to do with him. I hate it that I have to accept this person and give him my time when he doesn't deserve it, when he has not earned it, when he never cared.

I am (clearly!) stressing about this. I haven't seen him in over a year, and it is always so forced and uncomfortable. I will never be close to this guy, I wouldn't want to. I could never trust him. And every relationship -- I don't care if it is at work, with friends, with a lover, or with your family -- has to have trust, or you have nothing.

*Sigh* Guess we shall see what tomorrow brings...

Posted @ 7:47 PM

Thursday, January 09, 2003

It has been a horrendously long day. I mean, they all are, but this one was just so damned drawn out! I keep thinking "at least it's over tomorrow," but I am working Saturday, too. Phhhhh... You remember those Calgon bath stuff commercials from when we were kids? The ones where the mom had the kids hanging off her and the dog eating the furniture, and the whole world coming to an end and she says, "Calgon, take me away!" It has been a Calgon day.

UPDATE: No one was tagging, and I thought...OK, I hoped it was because I put the tagboard in a weird place and it was not very accessible, so I put it back down here. So say hello or something. Just remember what your mother told you: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. :o)

Posted @ 9:26 PM

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

:o( Someone is mad at me for not being as attentive to him online as would be considered common courtesy. The stupid thing is, I seriously didn't even realize I was doing it, which makes me seem that much more self-absorbed. :o( I just suck at balancing multiple IMs. I guess all I can do is hope he'll get over it. *crosses fingers* It was soooooo not intentional.

So I think have a little crush on someone, and thus far (can it be true?) it seems to be reciprocated. No names, no details = no jinxing myself. (Hopefully.) You're dying of curiosity, aren't you? *evil laughter*

Later on... How psyched am I? Finally got this blogger shit resolved. Wee hoo!!!!! I am posting the pre-blogger stuff below, just for the sake of readability.

Later, Taters.

OK, so this is too damned funny not to share (from Yahoo Messenger, not edited for grammar, spelling, etc., totally for real!):

wellsbw (10:44:30 PM): hi sexy
whimkat (10:44:43 PM): hello. who's this?
wellsbw (10:45:02 PM): this is Bryan
whimkat (10:45:07 PM): bryan who?
whimkat (10:45:18 PM): the bryan i know?
wellsbw (10:45:54 PM): no
whimkat (10:46:06 PM): hmmm, well who's this bryan then?
wellsbw (10:47:23 PM): you next lover
whimkat (10:47:30 PM): oh jeezus
whimkat (10:47:44 PM): how old are you?
wellsbw (10:47:47 PM): 24
wellsbw (10:47:52 PM): almost 25
whimkat (10:48:55 PM): well, i don't do that cyber shit. consider yourself blocked.

This is just one example of what is an unfortunately regular occurance for females online, especially if you have posted a profile with a picture. So this was my way of eliminating the problem: my new profile. That oughta do it.

Try not to let the blue blind you. We got 19 inches of snow last nite and I was inspired to redecorate. :o)

Having major trouble finding getting the FTP path right for a blog. If anyone has input on how to do that using Tripod, lemme know. Thanks!!

OK, I am really fucking pissed. I tried to sign in tonite and kept getting booted with a message that said my password was incorrect, on all of my screennames. I fell for an online scheme. :o( I got one of those AOL InstaKiss things, which evidently is a scam, because it takes you to a screen which prompts you to enter your screenname and password (though I know "AOL staff will never ask for your password"), and then directs you to a certain online dating service which I will not do the courtesy of mentioning. So I inadvertantly gave my screenname and password to some asshole who then signed into my account, changed the passwords so I couldn't get back in, and sent the same InstaKiss message to -- in my case -- 2,000 people!!! Anyway, now I know this, but it took me a fucking hour and a half to get an answer. AOL technical service can kiss my ass, they SUCK!!!! I called the # they gave me and sat on hold for 15 mins. I called again. On hold again. Got online under Ma's name and got the live guy via IM. He said I had to call. I told him I was sick of being on hold and I wanted to know what the hell was going on. He said I had to call. I disconnected. I called again, on hold again. I called again, the outgoing message had changed to "if you have a problem with your passwords being rejected..." and there was a new #, which I called. Got another message that said they were too busy to help me, so I called the other # again. The message was back to it's original state and I was on hold again. I finally got someone about 10 minutes ago, but the total on-hold time was 1 hour and 37 minutes. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

So here's my pathetic relationship related pondering for today: is it significant in any way if the idea or knowledge of a former lover's current sexual behavior makes you turn green with jealousy, or just major discomfort...but some others you couldn't give a shit less about? Are the prior the ones you really loved? Or just the ones you really liked to fuck? Lol. That sounds so crass. So be it. I dunno.

On a good note, tomorrow is Friday and T.G.-fucking-I.F!!!!! I have no plans and that is how I want it. :o) I am fighting a sinus infection and I wanna take it easy. If I crash before updating tomorrow (assuming anything happens that is blog-worthy), have a good Friday!

Happy New Year! I was feeling kinda shitty yesterday and had a fever, so I elected to stay in last nite. Didn't even make it to see the ball drop on TV. Woke up at 10:30 on the couch and said, "fuck it," and went to bed.

Was talkin' to a friend yesterday on AIM, who was also not doing anything last nite, and realized that I know I am getting further and further into adulthood when I see holidays not as an opportinuty to party, but an opportunity to sleep. Lol.

Posted @ 9:15 PM

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